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difficult child stabbed yesterday, he's okay, in hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 633792" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Thanks for your great thoughts today. I will read them over and over again.</p><p></p><p>I want to post this because I hope it will help someone else. </p><p></p><p>I woke up crying this morning. My thoughts were all negative. I felt helpless and hopeless and more than anything in the world, I didn't want to go and get difficult child and drive him to work. I wanted to get in the car and drive away as far and as fast as I could. </p><p></p><p>I did go and get him and drive him. My one thought was to keep my mouth shut and I was able to do that, mostly. When I got there, he was ready to go, showered, shaved, packed and waiting, on time. It was much better than I had imagined. We loaded the car, I turned the radio on, and we had a few words, nicely, back and forth. It was really okay. It was not the completely terrible and awful experience I had imagined all morning. </p><p></p><p>Then I went to Al-Anon at noon. The subject was our own attitudes, thoughts and perceptions. The leader talked about the fact that her daughter (easy child) had just deployed yesterday to Kuwait. She was so sad and was already missing her. She started crying and said she is very emotional today. Then she talked about how excited her daughter is to be serving her country in this way. </p><p></p><p>She said she realizes this is what her daughter wants to do, and she is going to have to change her own attitude and perceptions about this situation. Her daughter is 23, a grown woman. </p><p></p><p>Then others talked about how their own attitudes and thoughts sabotage them. They gave examples of things they are dealing with right now that are worse because of how they, themselves, approach and think about the situation.</p><p></p><p>That hit right home for me. In time, I shared the recent situation with difficult child. I cried and cried. The group lovingly and silently sat and listened to me until I was through talking. They were patient. I tried to frame the situation, not in the awfulness of it all, but in how I am trying to deal with it, how upset I am, how I trying to just get through it one day at a time, but I am failing a lot at that. How I hate this disease and all it does to all of us. </p><p></p><p>After the meeting, several came to me and warmly hugged me. I left there and I felt better. A lot better. I was able to stop for a while, my obsessive thinking about difficult child, and start taking responsibility for my own thoughts, attitudes and perceptions. I can't know what is going to happen next. Maybe something good will happen. That likelihood is there as well as the alternative.</p><p></p><p>I took a nap (another miracle helping tool for me) and then I went back and picked difficult child up at work, took him to the new motel and helped him get his room set up. Ex has paid for nine more nights there. I had gotten difficult child some food, and made him two turkey sandwiches, and some bottled water, and an ice pack and some Advil. I hugged him, said I love you, and now am back at home with SO.</p><p></p><p>I am going back to Al-Anon in the morning at 9. </p><p></p><p>I am seeing, even in the FOG, that using my tools is going to immediately give me relief. I use them, they work. I hope this encourages someone here on this board right now. Use the tools. Whatever your tools are, reading books, writing in a journal, going to 12-step meetings, therapy, etc. etc. Assemble your toolbox and keep on using your tools every day. In a crisis, make time to use them even more.</p><p></p><p>None of us wants to feel hopeless and helpless and full of despair. Sometimes we get in that state, and it feels so bad that we have no idea what to do next. </p><p></p><p>Use the toolbox. That is the answer.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you are saying to me. Every single post helps me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 633792, member: 17542"] Thanks for your great thoughts today. I will read them over and over again. I want to post this because I hope it will help someone else. I woke up crying this morning. My thoughts were all negative. I felt helpless and hopeless and more than anything in the world, I didn't want to go and get difficult child and drive him to work. I wanted to get in the car and drive away as far and as fast as I could. I did go and get him and drive him. My one thought was to keep my mouth shut and I was able to do that, mostly. When I got there, he was ready to go, showered, shaved, packed and waiting, on time. It was much better than I had imagined. We loaded the car, I turned the radio on, and we had a few words, nicely, back and forth. It was really okay. It was not the completely terrible and awful experience I had imagined all morning. Then I went to Al-Anon at noon. The subject was our own attitudes, thoughts and perceptions. The leader talked about the fact that her daughter (easy child) had just deployed yesterday to Kuwait. She was so sad and was already missing her. She started crying and said she is very emotional today. Then she talked about how excited her daughter is to be serving her country in this way. She said she realizes this is what her daughter wants to do, and she is going to have to change her own attitude and perceptions about this situation. Her daughter is 23, a grown woman. Then others talked about how their own attitudes and thoughts sabotage them. They gave examples of things they are dealing with right now that are worse because of how they, themselves, approach and think about the situation. That hit right home for me. In time, I shared the recent situation with difficult child. I cried and cried. The group lovingly and silently sat and listened to me until I was through talking. They were patient. I tried to frame the situation, not in the awfulness of it all, but in how I am trying to deal with it, how upset I am, how I trying to just get through it one day at a time, but I am failing a lot at that. How I hate this disease and all it does to all of us. After the meeting, several came to me and warmly hugged me. I left there and I felt better. A lot better. I was able to stop for a while, my obsessive thinking about difficult child, and start taking responsibility for my own thoughts, attitudes and perceptions. I can't know what is going to happen next. Maybe something good will happen. That likelihood is there as well as the alternative. I took a nap (another miracle helping tool for me) and then I went back and picked difficult child up at work, took him to the new motel and helped him get his room set up. Ex has paid for nine more nights there. I had gotten difficult child some food, and made him two turkey sandwiches, and some bottled water, and an ice pack and some Advil. I hugged him, said I love you, and now am back at home with SO. I am going back to Al-Anon in the morning at 9. I am seeing, even in the FOG, that using my tools is going to immediately give me relief. I use them, they work. I hope this encourages someone here on this board right now. Use the tools. Whatever your tools are, reading books, writing in a journal, going to 12-step meetings, therapy, etc. etc. Assemble your toolbox and keep on using your tools every day. In a crisis, make time to use them even more. None of us wants to feel hopeless and helpless and full of despair. Sometimes we get in that state, and it feels so bad that we have no idea what to do next. Use the toolbox. That is the answer. Warm hugs and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you are saying to me. Every single post helps me. [/QUOTE]
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