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difficult child stabbed yesterday, he's okay, in hospital
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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 633835" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>Oh COM.</p><p></p><p>Just back from two weeks away and just catching up with things. My friend's husband died while we were away and another friend's husband lost his job. Now I'm reading this sad thread about another friend.</p><p></p><p>The main thing is that your son is OK. It's not life-threatening and they let him out of hospital the same day as the op and he is going back to work. Hold on to that.</p><p></p><p> The girlfriend thing is a nightmare and I feel your helplessness at not being able to get him to 'see' this. Is he focussing on her and her problems to try and deflect attention away from his own dysfunctional state? Both for himself and for everyone else?</p><p></p><p>Your actions to provide financial support during this time of crisis are what any loving mother would do. I've done it myself. I'm glad that your ex is there to share this burden with you. I've no idea where my ex is (thank goodness). I'm glad yours is there for your son though. A problem shared is a problem halved so they say.</p><p></p><p>You've been so strong to not let him into your house, even though probably every mothering instinct was screaming at you to open the door, your core strength at remaining detached and not being sucked into this drama and crisis has survived a great test and your beacon of light is still shining. You will look back and know that you survived this intact.</p><p></p><p>What happens now? What happens with your son is up to him, you have no control over that. What happens with the girlfriend is up to them, you have no control over that. What happens with you? You have to seek support and look after yourself and do all those things that you know will help you over this latest crisis. I know you will be ok. You have your toolbox, the one that you shared with me, there is everything in there that you need. In time this will all be just another wave of madness that's washed over your son's life and he will have moved on to the next episode. That's what happens. WIth all our children. We just have to try and swim to the shore and build up our strength to survive the next wave. It's exhausting.</p><p></p><p>I'll be thinking of you, and my other friends and their troubles, while I sort through these mountains of suitcases full of washing and ironing. I might cry. </p><p></p><p>Hugs x</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 633835, member: 17650"] Oh COM. Just back from two weeks away and just catching up with things. My friend's husband died while we were away and another friend's husband lost his job. Now I'm reading this sad thread about another friend. The main thing is that your son is OK. It's not life-threatening and they let him out of hospital the same day as the op and he is going back to work. Hold on to that. The girlfriend thing is a nightmare and I feel your helplessness at not being able to get him to 'see' this. Is he focussing on her and her problems to try and deflect attention away from his own dysfunctional state? Both for himself and for everyone else? Your actions to provide financial support during this time of crisis are what any loving mother would do. I've done it myself. I'm glad that your ex is there to share this burden with you. I've no idea where my ex is (thank goodness). I'm glad yours is there for your son though. A problem shared is a problem halved so they say. You've been so strong to not let him into your house, even though probably every mothering instinct was screaming at you to open the door, your core strength at remaining detached and not being sucked into this drama and crisis has survived a great test and your beacon of light is still shining. You will look back and know that you survived this intact. What happens now? What happens with your son is up to him, you have no control over that. What happens with the girlfriend is up to them, you have no control over that. What happens with you? You have to seek support and look after yourself and do all those things that you know will help you over this latest crisis. I know you will be ok. You have your toolbox, the one that you shared with me, there is everything in there that you need. In time this will all be just another wave of madness that's washed over your son's life and he will have moved on to the next episode. That's what happens. WIth all our children. We just have to try and swim to the shore and build up our strength to survive the next wave. It's exhausting. I'll be thinking of you, and my other friends and their troubles, while I sort through these mountains of suitcases full of washing and ironing. I might cry. Hugs x [/QUOTE]
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difficult child stabbed yesterday, he's okay, in hospital
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