difficult child style sibling arguing-ugh!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Nov 10, 2011.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I should know better than to ever relax even for a second and so should husband.

    I got home early today. easy child/difficult child and I were sitting in the living room getting along fine. husband got home with difficult child. He was so excited he wanted to show her his self portrait (which, by the way, is really good-I may post about it later). Right away she said no. He pulled it out anyways and she ignored it (at least she didn't make any comments).

    husband says he is going to take a short rest before dinner (don't blame him as neither of us slept well). Both kids were unhappy that we are having mashed potatoes with our meatloaf so husband said they could have mac and cheese (fine with me). He goes up to lay down.

    difficult child states that he is going to make the mac and cheese. I say not now because dinner won't be ready yet and no one is going to want to help him (he really would end up needing help). easy child/difficult child starts complaining and saying not to make it yet (wish she could just be quiet). Then she goes and takes it out of the cupboard so that difficult child can't make it.

    Now he is escalating (verbalizing, nothing else but bad enough). He walked to go upstairs and accidentally touched her jacket (could have been on purpose but I don't think so because he is actually afraid of her). She shoves him so he actually hit back (which he usually won't do with her) and she shoved him harder. Then he got really angry and tried to get the vacuum cleaner to throw at her. I had to step in between them (all along easy child/difficult child is continuing to antagonize him). I had to yell for husband to come down.

    Needless to say he was not happy at all. He was able to talk down difficult child and get him to go upstairs with him. Both kids will have a consequence later. I'm actually much more angry with easy child/difficult child. She's 18 and should know better. She know strategies to use, but can't control herself well when she gets angry especially with him.

    We keep telling her one of these days she is going to end up in a heap of trouble because something will happen and the police will be called.

    Screaming children I can do with-out tonight!

    Just another fun night at the wiped house-grrrrr!
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Its a two-difficult child night.
    I've got one of those, two... its a long weekend here, and we're having to find ways to split the males from the females for the whole doggone weekend! Just to preserve sanity.

  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yep, we are almost always trying to separate.

    It got a lot worse.She continued being very rude to both difficult child and me. I mostly ignored her.

    Then difficult child and her got into another argument. I was right in the room and not paying much attention (that'll teach me) and I don't even know who started it. All of a sudden I hear easy child/difficult child swearing and threatening difficult child.

    She wouldn't go to her room when I told her to and so I took her clothes and told them they would be out on the grass if she didn't (I know maybe not the best idea but I had more than I could take for the night). I went upstairs and she followed and demanded I let her in my room and give her clothes back to her. She went wild and started banging on the door so now in addition to the holes in the door from difficult child the frame is also damaged. Sigh...

    She also threw my blow dryer down the steps. Luckily that didn't break as well.

    I'm guessing I should have probably called the police for the damage to the door. What I really wish is that she didn't live with us right now. It makes everything way too stressful. I know she is 18 and legally an adult but even with her job she truly couldn't afford any kind of an apartment in our city.

    Up until today things had been going really well with her. I had even thought about changing her status back to easy child. I didn't because of how she is with difficult child and now I know it's a good thing I didn't. Maybe she should be just a plain difficult child.
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I told you it was a full moon. Just out of curiosity, how long has she been on the Risperdal and have there been any changes in any dosages?
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She's been on the respirdal for about 7 or 8 months. No changes in dosage of the medication. She says she is taking it regularly but it's really hard for me to know for sure. I'm usually in bed before she is so I'm taking things on her word. I don't know if there is any other way to check with her at her age. She needs to take on the responsibility.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    any way to know her cycle? could she lose it during pms?
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    You are absolutely right that she needs to take responsibility. I also think buddy has a very valid point with the pms. I don't know, just trying to think of explanations that make sense.

  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hard to know her cycle as she is so private about everything. Years ago we put her on birth control because she does get so moody-it's helped some but I think that could still be part of it.

    Last night when she finally calmed down she came downstairs and starts talking as though nothing happened (no apologies for the door or anything else which is so typical of her). She did start talking about how worried she is about work today because they are having a big sale and she isn't sure how they are ringing up the discounts, she is worried they will be too busy for her to get her check, she doesn't feel good, wishes she didn't have to work today, etc...

    I'm wondering if her anxieties about work had anything to do with this? Still, I'm upset she needs to handle her anxieties better. I probably don't sound very understanding, I'm just tired of damage to my house from difficult children being angry.
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Does easy child/difficult child have any dxes besides depression? Just wondering... as it sounds like there may be some other hidden thing at work here. Finding it might help?
  10. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Glad she calmed down enough to tell you what was going on. I agree with Insane. Does her severe moodiness "typically" accompany some kind of stress? She might have an anxiety disorder of some sort. BUT, she does need to learn better ways to cope with it. She might not get very far in the real world if she can't get that part taken care of.

    How many years until you're difficult child free? For house repairs I mean. LOL
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She definitely has anxiety issues!

    Tedo-ROFL-I fear my house will never be difficult child free! Hopefully easy child/difficult child will be gone within 1 1/2 years and difficult child-yikes who knows? He will be into high school until 21 but I'm hoping not in our house til then!