What kind of weapon did he take to school? I'm surprised nothing happened -- our schools have a strict "zero tolerance" policy on that.
When he was 9 he took a broken airsoft bb gun.
the following year he took a largish jacknife, the kind you use for scouting.
The following year he took a paring knife, and a month later he took just a razor blade---the kind you scrape paint off a window with.
He was arrested for the bb gun. He was 9, the school resource officer put his hands behind his back and hand cuffed him and put him in the back of the squad car and drove away with him. We followed and his father bailed him out of our local community jail. Watching them put the handcuffs on little 'Opie Taylor' (remember the Andy Griffin show?), was one of the most sickening moments of my life. I cried and husband put his arms around me.
The judge foundhim guilty and sentenced him to 40 hours community service and a diversion program. The diversion program was so inaapropriate, that's where he learned about 'huffing'. We had to do the community service program ourselves since he was too little. They let him drop out of both because he was too little.
We have zero tolerance too and mandatory expulsion into a county expulsion program, but the principal just gave him 10 days suspension.
Next year I wasn't there when they arrested him. He was taken downtown and husband went and got him abt 11 pm. They were very nice to him at juvvy, the ladies kept him near the desk and kept up his spirits. The judge found him guilty, more community service for dad, and dad had to go to a parenting program for 12 weeks but they let dad off early for some reason. Again the school principal (the same one) gave him 10 days suspension and kept the news out of the newspapers. It was the end of the year, and when difficult child walked into summer camp another kid said something about him getting arrested. difficult child was utterly indignant, it was supposed to be kept a secret, nobody was supposed to know, it was nobody's business.
difficult child admitted the first one, denied the second, said he had no idea how it got into his backpack. He said he was set up.
The third time, he was arrested, taken downtown and husband didn't get him until 4 am the morning. When we went to court he was given the wrong judge. So it was continued, the new judge died before he could hear the case. It was never reassigned. We never heard about it again. The principal suspended him for 10 days, ignoring the mandatory suspension regulation again. The state attorney general wrote a letter to him which was read to him by his probation officer stating if he ever broke the law again it was mandatory detention in juvvy. The probation officer explained about rape and beatings there and told difficult child 'you won't last one night, they can't watch you all the time'.
A month later difficult child took a razor blade to school. The first thing he said when it was found on him was: Oh no not again. And then he swore it was planted on him and 'someone' was trying to get him out of the house. And that's when he started with his story that the night before I had pushed him to the ground and jumped on his back 3 times, then picked him up by the hair off his feet.
Instead of calling the police, the principal called CPS. They took him to a forensic child abuse expert who immediately knew he had not been abused and asked about his psychiatric history. CPS and the school were sure he was abused. The school didn't believe the expert, nor did the CPS lady who yelled at husband for a couple hours and told him that if husband didn't leave the house with the children, or force me and my kids out of the house, she was going to put both difficult child and little sister in foster care this minute. difficult child watched ever moment of this. husband talked her down, but she made husband promise that difficult child would pretty much rule the house.
That night when I got home from work, difficult child flashed me the most triumpant and evil smile I'd ever seen. I didn't even know there'd been a problem. Then husband filled me in. (this was Feb 14, 2008).
The next 4 months were hell. The CPS lady who KNEW she had no case because of his extensive file and the expert said there was no abuse, kept in close contact with difficult child and would pass on all his requests to husband. difficult child wants to join this after school program--husband had to do it or she threatened to take both kids into foster care. And she even insisted that since husband could afford afterschool care for both daughter then 7 and difficult child then 11, that daughter could come home after school and stay alone, it was too dangerous for difficult child to be alone at home.
We were afraid the whole time because every complaint he had went to her and she would call husband and scream and threaten him. difficult child was NEVER NEVER NEVER left alone with me. CPS lady's rule. So he had to stand within 3 feet of husband for 4 months. husband was furious and wouldn't talk to him. He'd read the paper and difficult child would have to stand in front of him so husband could make sure he wasn't being abused. It was massively embarassing and inconvenient for husband (sometimes he had to take difficult child to work) and he made sure difficult child hated every moment of being watched.
After 4 months CPS lady made this huge push to wring confessions out of us and did a real bad interrogation (I am believe it or not a professional interrogator). She was clumsy and stupid and got twisted up in so many lies that she was laughable. And the whole time we KNEW she had no case, we KNEW it had been closed. The thing is, if he had been abusive parents, difficult child would have gotten his butt beat good and steady for all he put us through. And the kicker of it all? At the end of the final 'interview' with us she actually told husband that it was all right and legal for him to spank difficult child (something we don't do). I am not making this up.
At the same time we were dealing with nasty CPS lady we had an awesome probation officer. She knew a troublemaker when she saw one and it was her opinion was since he didn't act out much at school (except for the weapons) but acted out at home he was in control of it. She visited the house every other week for about 6 weeks and each time we had a list of problems he'd caused. The second time she suggested a Residential Treatment Center (RTC), the third time she filled out the paperwork and said if her supervisor approved it and she would, he'd go for 4 to 6 months.
And then we didn't hear from her again. Her phone was turned off. It seems she got a job somewhere else and all her cases were abandoned. Her supervisor just summarily closed them all without seeing any of the kids.
And now we are where we are.
Once about 4 months after the wicked CPS lady left our lives, I asked difficult child about that incident. I forget how it came up but I said, "You were pretty sure you were going be in charge of this family, didn't you. You thought that lady was going to make Daddy and me do everything you wanted, right?"
He looked at me and nodded very unhappily. I said, "Well, what do you suppose went wrong. Why didn't it work out the way you wanted?"
He looked very very sad and broke eye contact and said sadly. "I just don't know what went wrong."
"It's because you lied. People aren't as stupid as you think. It can be figured out. And you've just made life harder for yourself because if someone ever does mistreat you, you won't be believed, you'll be like the boy who cried wolf."
I don't often see honest emotion in difficult child, but when he looked down and said so sadly that he didn't know what went wrong with his plan, he was honestly perplexed and bewildered.
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