What a mind blowing thing. Life radically changes from this point forward. Now he is at and within his own right to pursue or refuse anything. And of course, I am also now afforded this same right with him. He is currently in therapeutic placement, and the goal is he will stay on the program on own volition. However, I feel a massive amount of trepidation as this birthday approaches, knowing that if he chooses to go A-Wall from the therapeutic placement, that I will have to have my big guns locked and loaded, and tell him there is not a home here anymore. I think in his mind he assumes there is always a home with me. He has always assumed that this is his home, and that the dogs are his, just like they are mine. I do not think I have done a good job at all of mentally preparing him for this day - not in the least. And I feel really guilty and remiss. However, it is what it is. The fact remains that too many things have happened for him to be able to ever come back to our home and live successfully. I see that, now, and hopefully he does too. Still, this is his big 18th birthday...........where so many parents are happy and out renting limos and having parties.........and yet I feel like he is just beginning to crawl out from under the rock of life and realize it is a long road..........and one he has to build, not me. Many, many mixed emotions. Too many to assess.