difficult child turns 20 today

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by fedup, Jul 9, 2007.

  1. fedup

    fedup New Member

    Last month, he needed new pants and stuff for work. I bought it for him (most was on sale), and told him he could have it now, or wait for his birthday. He took it. Then, we went on vacation, and found him a shirt which we gave him right aeay. He really liked the shirt. This morning, I saw a DVD or game disk on the computer table, with "Happy B'day from Dad". I have another shirt a different bandana and a necklace that has an interesting dragon on it for him.

    Dad baked a cake last night, but he was very moody while doing that. Neither difficult child nor I appreciated his screaming and swearing. H is getting to be as much of a difficult child as our son is! Let me clarify- hubby was trying to locate a measuring cup of a certain size. He couldn't find it, and started yelling and slamming the drawers. Hubby is the only one who cooks and does the dishes (because I can't seem to do it "right" in his eyes), so he is the only one that uses the stuff. Both difficult child & I walked away from it. The cake got baked.

    Hubby did not come to bed at all last night. Don't know what he was doing. But, this is happening more and more frequently (to the tune of about once a week now). I am concerned about hubby, but there is no way to bring it up without hubby getting mad. difficult child husbands are worse than the kids!
  2. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I am afraid I would have to bring it up to your husband. so what if he gets mad? he is making you upset now by his behavior so why walk on eggshells?

    I used to do that because with my then husband I thought it was easier than clearing the air. I am not a fighter. I would tell him in a calm voice that you notice something seems to be bothering him.
  3. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Happy 20th Birthday to Mike!!!! Hope he appreciates all his gifts and what nice parents you are to buy them. :smile:

    I understand about not wanting to confront your hubby. You love him and don't want to split up, so you ignore his not coming to bed once/week. If it starts happening more often or continues for a long period, I guess I'd try to talk to him about it...in a gentle manner, of course.

  4. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Happy Birthday to difficult child!!
    Sounds like you and hubby need to talk before things get any worse.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Happy Birthday to difficult child!

    Boy we have a glut of difficult child's born in July! Jamie and Cory's birthdays are just around the corner on the 11th and 24th. I wonder if the hot, summer months does something to their brains...lol.
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Rob's birthday was the 1st so I'd be inclined to agree with Janet.......well, uh....except.... MY birthday is this month, too! :rofl:

    (no snide comments, please :wink: )

    Happy Birthday to your difficult child, Fedup!

    I sure hope your husband gets over himself soon. :hammer: (talk to him- can't get much worse than it already is!)

  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Sounds like husband is having some issues of his own. My husband was much more receptive to the need for change in his outlook/behaviors when I approached him along the terms of "I love you so much and I miss the closeness that we used to have..."

    He tried talk therapy for a long time, and really couldn't get over a certain point of depression. He has been on prozac for about 5 weeks now, and actually laughs at things. He is more open to cooperation than he used to be.

    I hope that you and your husband will find a way to work on getting along better. It's a terrible feeling to lose touch with your spouse.
  8. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    You must be talking about my husband. No...mine hasn't come to bed in a very long time! Hope your husband is open to counseling and/or medications.
  9. Jen

    Jen New Member

    I dont know about your history with your husband and difficult child but mine for yrs just focused his life on his work. As my difficult child grew and he is a boy, they grew apart, and less husband and difficult child togehterness occurred. Of course we all know that doesnt help support the mom, or let the difficult child know who is the boss. Today he is more involved with the difficult child out of the house but angers more when there is an issue with him. See husband trying to be more part of it late in the game, now realizing what I had to deal with all these yrs, and reacts as your husband does, as if he had a right too... NOT.

    I call him on it now, and he stops.