welcometowitsend
Member
I spent an entire morning at difficult child's school this week. Apparently, due to his lack of attendance they have finally decided to get the Attendance Counsellor on his butt. I asked that he be referred to this Attendance Counsellor last year and they told me they had done it but obviously didn't. He is also now on their radar for 'demittance'. Because he has missed so many classes they can just unenroll him from school and tell him to come back when he actually wants to go to class. I doubt they'll demit him unless he misses the full 15 days in a row which then makes it automatic.
So that wasn't fun. I took difficult child out for lunch yesterday and had a conversation with him about where he is going in life and he said he was going to work on getting caught up in school and going to class. I dropped him off at school after lunch and he skipped the next period. So frustrating.
On the advice of our support group I have not been calling or texting him but instead I've been waiting for him to call/text me. Bet you can guess how that's going. Not very well. I never hear from him. The only reason I saw him yesterday is because I called to tell him about the meeting with the school and that he is on their radar for demittance. And I had some mail to deliver to him as well.
I think the 'not calling' has been really stressful on me. I still want to see and talk to my kid and sometimes he is pretty fun to be around. I just don't think that is working for me to not be in contact with him. He doesn't care if he talks to me or not unless he wants something so he could go weeks with no contact. So, I'm obviously not ready to detach on that level. I'm thinking I might just call him once a week and try to have lunch with him once a week as well. That will be better for me and maybe will help be a positive influence on him.
I will see him again on Monday as he has a doctors appointment and I told him I'd take him to get a haircut (at least it'll get washed).
He is not taking his medications consistently which is really not helping his situation either. He says the more often he forgets the less he wants to take them and the worse his mood gets which makes him even more noncompliant. Such a frustrating cycle but maybe this little bit of insight on his part will help him see what the noncompliance is doing to him.
All of his rent money has been spent and he's decided to live with this friend and her mother until he graduates high school. Ha! I wonder if the mother knows he isn't even going to school and it may take a very long time for him to graduate. She told him to ask me for his monthly 'baby bonus' cheque from the government. She told him that everyone gets money every month from the government to help pay for their kids expenses. Well, it's geared to income and husband and I haven't gotten that cheque in about 14 years. She will not get a dime out of us. I will buy him clothing for Christmas and birthday and will pay for haircuts and his medications and dental. That is it. If she wants to 'rescue' my wayward son then she can go right ahead. He has a nice home here with food and his own room if he wants to follow a few rules. If she wants money I will suggest she take him to the welfare office and get him signed up for the 'couch surfing' stipend which is about $300 a month. Ok, that's me being angry at this woman who is enabling my son and obviously wants me to pay her for doing it. I've never met or gotten a phone call from this woman and have no way to contact her as difficult child is certainly not willing to give me her contact info.
Thanks for letting me vent.
So that wasn't fun. I took difficult child out for lunch yesterday and had a conversation with him about where he is going in life and he said he was going to work on getting caught up in school and going to class. I dropped him off at school after lunch and he skipped the next period. So frustrating.
On the advice of our support group I have not been calling or texting him but instead I've been waiting for him to call/text me. Bet you can guess how that's going. Not very well. I never hear from him. The only reason I saw him yesterday is because I called to tell him about the meeting with the school and that he is on their radar for demittance. And I had some mail to deliver to him as well.
I think the 'not calling' has been really stressful on me. I still want to see and talk to my kid and sometimes he is pretty fun to be around. I just don't think that is working for me to not be in contact with him. He doesn't care if he talks to me or not unless he wants something so he could go weeks with no contact. So, I'm obviously not ready to detach on that level. I'm thinking I might just call him once a week and try to have lunch with him once a week as well. That will be better for me and maybe will help be a positive influence on him.
I will see him again on Monday as he has a doctors appointment and I told him I'd take him to get a haircut (at least it'll get washed).
He is not taking his medications consistently which is really not helping his situation either. He says the more often he forgets the less he wants to take them and the worse his mood gets which makes him even more noncompliant. Such a frustrating cycle but maybe this little bit of insight on his part will help him see what the noncompliance is doing to him.
All of his rent money has been spent and he's decided to live with this friend and her mother until he graduates high school. Ha! I wonder if the mother knows he isn't even going to school and it may take a very long time for him to graduate. She told him to ask me for his monthly 'baby bonus' cheque from the government. She told him that everyone gets money every month from the government to help pay for their kids expenses. Well, it's geared to income and husband and I haven't gotten that cheque in about 14 years. She will not get a dime out of us. I will buy him clothing for Christmas and birthday and will pay for haircuts and his medications and dental. That is it. If she wants to 'rescue' my wayward son then she can go right ahead. He has a nice home here with food and his own room if he wants to follow a few rules. If she wants money I will suggest she take him to the welfare office and get him signed up for the 'couch surfing' stipend which is about $300 a month. Ok, that's me being angry at this woman who is enabling my son and obviously wants me to pay her for doing it. I've never met or gotten a phone call from this woman and have no way to contact her as difficult child is certainly not willing to give me her contact info.
Thanks for letting me vent.