difficult child wants to dye his hair and more

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ML, Feb 4, 2008.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    I expected these things but not at nine. He's always been ahead of the curve. He also wants piercings all over. I told him that we could put some temporary dye in his hair over the summer and he's ecstatic.

    You know what else. He went to a therapy session today. I picked him up from school and he was in a great mood. After the session he was activated. He started mouthing off, doing things to annoy while we were in the car. At home he was all defiant. He said something about lying and that he thought it was a good thing. He's saying these things to get a reaction and I know it. But still, I told him we were going to talk and I turned off the TV and took away the laptop he had and I said we're going to talk about being truthful and trustworthy and he says "lying is bad, you' right. I've learned over time just to tell you want you want to hear so we don't have to have these little talks". I made him write out why being truthful was the right way e was just in one of those moods where. He's a bit settled now but still a little more hyper than usual.

    I just wonder why he was in defiance mode after his session. Is this normal reaction do you think?

  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Is this therapist or Occupational Therapist (OT)? If it's therapist, I think I'd call and let them know.
  3. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    I too, would call and let them know - was it something said that set him off or just doctor in general? My difficult child also is into the colored hair and piercings. Just so you know - there is a company online that sells magnetic "piercings". I let her dye her hair black (she's 13) and she has magnetic "snake bites" to put off the piercings until she's out of my house! Good luck!
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    Thanks ladies. Yes, it was therapist and I will call and leave her a message today. It could be the stress of the situation in general as it's just the second time we've gone to her. He prefers shutting down when difficult questions come at him so it probably took all of his good energy just to engage in a dialogue with her.

    I'm not too worried about the hair thing. I would be more concerned if he wanted to shave it all off. Thanks for the tip on the magnetic piercings!

  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Is it normal?

    Well you tell me what IS normal and we'll have tea. lol.

    I think Dude used to get like this after therapy because our therapist didn't give an inch. And a lot of what they talked about in therapy Dude couldn't deal with at that time - but when he felt safe in the car with me - katie bar the door.

    We learned to adjust to fallout, write down the things he fell out about which coincided with the therapists notes from the last session and just not make a big deal about it. If we did - it seemed to undo what the therapist had just uncovered.

    yes - he was going for a rise - YES he says things to just get you to shush up - and that's when you just say nothing or turn to him and said "Did you say something?" or "OH, (haha) MEEEEE TOOOO." and let it go.

    The notes I kept were actually a deterrent after a while for difficult child acting out in the car. He knew if he popped off after therapy I was writing down what he said, and the next week giving it to the therapist to deal with AGAIN. once dude figured out that THIS wasn't going to stop - he seemed to be able to internalize that days session a little better.

  6. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    About the piercings and the hair thing...well difficult child has been doing things to his hair since he was 9. First it was red/black for playoffs, then after that went to an interesting pink then orange he had a skunk thing going on white and black. He finally agreed to get his long hair cut so that got rid of the rest of the coloring and he wanted just the top blonde. He then let that grow out and hair his normal hair color. That lasted about two months and everyone agreed it looked cuter with the blonde top, so that's where we are now, lol! My theory is that its just hair and it grows out. His nickname at hockey is now "Hollywood" or "Hollywood Blonde" He also has his ear pierced, done at nine too. A couple of his hockey buddies had it done and he asked. Both have actually given him a bit of confidence which surprised us. His schoolmates and hockey mates thought it was cool and that he was really lucky to be allowed to do it, which in turn made him feel great :) As for the piercing too, I thought it was a good idea then because I still had control over him taking care of it so that it didn't get infected from him not taking care of it.
    Funny story...one of the boys on difficult child's hockey team has been begging his mum to dye his hair. So she made a deal with him that if he got a hat trick (score three goals in one game) then he could use that gel stuff. She said that she figured he'd never be able to do it. Sure enough a week later he scored three goals and she had to stick to her agreement, lol!
  7. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Four words: HIDE THE KOOL AID
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    ROFLA YOU MUSTANG CHICK! Dude made grape koolaid the other night and I busted out laughing - now my family things that they should hide the koolaid packs because it makes Mom hysterical and that isn't normal.