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difficult child was just returned to me
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 354282" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>All those things are going thru my mind, Janet. I'm detaching...again.... but the bottom line is that I never would have started looking for help in any direction if difficult child hadn't been exhibiting issues that I could not keep under control at home and still ensure his safety. Whether MI, defiance, etc., because I had no idea when all this first started, I knew I had to do something. So maybe some kids are compliant enough that their punishments keep the kid reeled in enough to maintain in the community, maybe some parents don't care and the kid just somehow slides by the legal system, I still believe that I had to do something and you obviously felt that way about Cory, too. And I still think that some of the "help" we got made things worse intil the one initial issue turned into one nightmare after another. Yes, my son has made his choices, but on the other hand, if he was old enough and mature enough to understand the seriousness of all of them and take 100% respoonsibility for them all, we wouldn't find a need in society to have a separate court and correctional system for minors. I'm just going thru the gammet of thoughts and emotions and disappointment again and wondering how the GAL will justify trying to blame me for all of it this time. And wondering what wonderful things difficult child will get educated about from other difficult child's this time. And wondering how much worse our relationship will be, if we even ever have one again.</p><p></p><p>Example: the only reason I allowed difficult child to come home from Department of Juvenile Justice is because the only other option would have been my bro given that he's a jerk and won't remove his name from dss as wanting difficult child but I highly suspect (basicly, I feel sure) that difficult child would be molested by some grown man if he lived there and difficult child would continue to reooffend or run away. Becuase of how that has made me handle things, difficult child has ended up walking all over me. Do I feel hurt, resentful, and angry? You bet. Do I think difficult child gets the seriousness of this and the potential harm this could have caused him? Not by a long shot- if anything he thinks if someone tried to do something like that to him he could deal with it or defend himself. No matter how upset or how used I feel toward difficult child because of this or how much I think difficult child needs to learn his lesson in this regard, do I think it warrants saying "fine, difficult child, I tried but if you're going to treat me that way, just go ahead and live where you might get molested"? No way- I still could never do that. Not to any minor, not just my own.</p><p></p><p>It sure makes me wish I had turned my bro into police as a kid when he tried to molest me. If he had a record for it, dss couldn't send difficult child to him- or at least there would be a better shot.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 354282, member: 3699"] All those things are going thru my mind, Janet. I'm detaching...again.... but the bottom line is that I never would have started looking for help in any direction if difficult child hadn't been exhibiting issues that I could not keep under control at home and still ensure his safety. Whether MI, defiance, etc., because I had no idea when all this first started, I knew I had to do something. So maybe some kids are compliant enough that their punishments keep the kid reeled in enough to maintain in the community, maybe some parents don't care and the kid just somehow slides by the legal system, I still believe that I had to do something and you obviously felt that way about Cory, too. And I still think that some of the "help" we got made things worse intil the one initial issue turned into one nightmare after another. Yes, my son has made his choices, but on the other hand, if he was old enough and mature enough to understand the seriousness of all of them and take 100% respoonsibility for them all, we wouldn't find a need in society to have a separate court and correctional system for minors. I'm just going thru the gammet of thoughts and emotions and disappointment again and wondering how the GAL will justify trying to blame me for all of it this time. And wondering what wonderful things difficult child will get educated about from other difficult child's this time. And wondering how much worse our relationship will be, if we even ever have one again. Example: the only reason I allowed difficult child to come home from Department of Juvenile Justice is because the only other option would have been my bro given that he's a jerk and won't remove his name from dss as wanting difficult child but I highly suspect (basicly, I feel sure) that difficult child would be molested by some grown man if he lived there and difficult child would continue to reooffend or run away. Becuase of how that has made me handle things, difficult child has ended up walking all over me. Do I feel hurt, resentful, and angry? You bet. Do I think difficult child gets the seriousness of this and the potential harm this could have caused him? Not by a long shot- if anything he thinks if someone tried to do something like that to him he could deal with it or defend himself. No matter how upset or how used I feel toward difficult child because of this or how much I think difficult child needs to learn his lesson in this regard, do I think it warrants saying "fine, difficult child, I tried but if you're going to treat me that way, just go ahead and live where you might get molested"? No way- I still could never do that. Not to any minor, not just my own. It sure makes me wish I had turned my bro into police as a kid when he tried to molest me. If he had a record for it, dss couldn't send difficult child to him- or at least there would be a better shot. [/QUOTE]
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