difficult child's bad night and better day

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Andy, Sep 18, 2008.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Tuesday, difficult child went from 30 mg to 20 mg. Yesterday afternoon, he felt weird (dizzy) and was afraid he had brain cancer. He had a small panic attack after school and felt afraid all night.

    I have a nasty head cold and difficult child is nervous about it. My coughing scares him. I just reassure him that everyone gets sick (me too) and I just have to live through it.

    He went to bed way early and when I asked what the sound was from his room, he said he was singing "I want to go to heaven but I don't want to go now." :tongue::angel3: Makes me giggle now but my heart hurt for him last night. He was so scared of how he felt and of course that sets the vicious cycle - feel scared, be scared, feel more scared, ect. ect. ect.

    When he awoke this morning, he felt much better. Had a nightmare of someone trying to kill him but wasn't afraid of it when he woke up.

    It was promising to me that he did feel so good. If he had still felt terrible, I think I would have just put him back to 30 mg.

    I gave him his medications at 8:00 and talked to the teacher about the possible need for stress releasing activities. I told difficult child that before he called me, he needs to write down how he is feeling. I also felt that there would be no problems at school especially since I was picking him up at 1:10.

    I called and left a message for the doctor. The nurse said it sounds like it is too soon for withdrawals. :( The doctor is gone until Monday but may stop in to check messages.

    difficult child had a great morning - no problems. Then the drive up North.

    OMG - he melted. A few days ago, the teacher took his calculator away because he had left it out. He needs to "buy it back" with the math project funds he is earning. He is furious. States he is going to go buy a new one and use that. Or he will go into the classroom on Sunday and just take it back. I told him those were not acceptable solutions that he needs to either 1. Just pay the price or 2. Go talk to the teacher who by the way may still make you pay. He needs to discuss with the teacher about what happened. I am slowly but surely learning that I don't get the entire story from difficult child - only what he wants me to act on.

    At the therapist, difficult child asked me not to report that incident. I told him it was important for therapist to know about it even if he is now o.k. with what he has to do.

    therapist reminded difficult child to get plenty of sleep and exercise. That will help as he comes off the Flouxetine.

    We went to trumpet as we came into town and then home. difficult child played outside awhile then came in to do homework.

    So, besides the meltdown in the van which he worked out of well, he has done very well today and no more complaints about feeling weird. YEAH!
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Wow- are you sure you want to take him off medications? Is all this just a stage or do you know yet? I'm sorry he's going through such a rough time.
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Thank you KLMN:

    difficult child is nervous about coming off. I think he brought it on because he was waiting for it to happen.

    I think he needs to learn another way of telling me about school issues. That was his automatic way of telling me, trying to get me to pick up the problem and solve it on my own. I think it has been bothering him the last few days as he was trying to figure it out on his own. That alone may have brought on the panic attack - he just couldn't see an answer he liked.

    Because he has not complained about feeling weird or scared today, I am feeling better again about continuing. Maybe it was just a fluke? If there was something to it, I think tonight would be hard and it is not. We go slow and if problems continue, I will reconsider.

    He also needs to start implementing his coping skills - I think he may have forgotten those as things were going so well. If he can recognize the very beginning almost step and do a coping skill, it will be good.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That sounds good- when I started reading your post I was wondering if you'd tried the TEC/CPS method. I tweaked it, but use the concept and it has worked many times with my son. Albeit, it doesn't work all the time- and i don't always stay on track with it. But, I can say that difficult child is still learning from it, so the same issues don't keep coming up and he ahs a better relationship with some authoriteis at school because of it.

    Whatever techniques you're using, I hope they make him feel better and a little more in control.
  5. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    What is the TEC/CPS?
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad he is doing better today. Last night sounds scary but you and he handled it well.
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The Explosive Child (the book)- Collaborative Problem Solving (the concept).
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Glad he got through the day. I hope he can tell you the WHOLE problem instead of just hte part he wants you to know/fix. I think even our pcs tend to do this.

  9. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    It looks like I need to find time to read The Explosive Child.

    Today was a little shaky - he did not finish his math homework - partially my fault because at 7:20pm last night I told him to stop work because he had about 12 problems left and was taking too long. I made the mom choice that he needed his sleep more last night than stay up an extra 1/2 hour to do homework. I told him I would talk to his teacher.

    I forgot to talk to his teacher about that (we discussed the calculator) and he got fined $1.00 for not getting it done. So, I talked to the teacher since it was partially my fault and found out that he had 45 minutes in class and worked on it for one hour last night - no excuse for not being done - I agree. So, he is mad at me for not getting the fine taken away. I told him that he shouldn't be taking that long that I believe he was watching t.v. during that time. He has to turn off the t.v. while doing home work. He agrees that he was watching too much t.v. but still thinks it is my fault for making him stop. Just doesn't get it but which kid would?

    So, now I enter the time of wondering if his reactions are more intense because he is coming off the flouxetine. I don't think so - he has always been very obsessive about money (even pretend money). I think this would be normal for him outside the anxiety and even on the medication so we keep going.

    The calculator - The teacher said she didn't think he would be that upset. I told her that it is because "money" is involved (it is not a game to him) and that he does need to either pay for it or talk to her with the knowledge that she will keep the fine. He needs to learn just like the other kids to make sure to put his stuff away. I have a feeling that this math project will be teaching him a lot of responsibilities as he strives to keep every dollar earned. Again, normal behavior for him on or off the medication.

    I forgot to sign his planner one day so that is a deduction of pay (he gets $2 for each time I sign). So, HE has to figure out how to remind me to sign - I don't always remember stuff like that.

    Today is going great otherwise - no feelings of weirdness - no nightmares last night! He had a hard time getting to sleep afraid he would have a nightmare so I gave him a book to read - he read 1/2 of it. Maybe I should have had him do more math! Oh Well, live and learn for me to.
  10. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Andy, I think the techniques discussed in the book would help your son- there's a part where it discusses the child's behavior being a result of frustration from not being able to implement better strategies, but I think you are already aware of that. The concept about problem solving is what I found helpful- although I don't really use baskets (even mentally), and I don't have a list of issues prioritized, it is the way that it suggests to approach problem solving that has helped a LOT in our house, and now it's spreading over to school a little.
  11. Josie

    Josie Active Member


    We weaned my daughter off from another SSRI very slowly. At every dose decrease, she had a month or more of problems from withdrawal. The psychiatrist thought she would be done with the effects of withdrawal after 2 weeks but it was always longer than that. I was pretty sure she didn't need it any more so we continued on and just waited out the withdrawal effect.

    I think fluoxetine is supposed to be one of the easier ones to withdraw from, but I would think you could still expect some trouble along the way. Even if his rough times now are from withdrawal, it doesn't necessarily mean that he can't continue getting off from it.
  12. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Thank you!

    Klmno - I need to get difficult child to the library soon for a computer project - I will check for the Explosive Child book. I can always use more info on this. It may help me find a new and better way.

    Fairly - Yes, you are right. Just hard to tell if it is withdrawal or because he really does still need it. You know how it is - so hard to watch our kids suffer when we know that giving a medication will make the pain go away. It sounds like you went through that for a long time. I hope I can be a warrior mom like you when/if we face those long periods of withdrawal.

    I called the doctor's office to report Wednesday's issues. When I called this morning to report that difficult child has very much improved and no problems at all on Thursday, there was a message from the doctor that said we should go back up to 30 mg based on difficult child being nervous about going off and wait until Spring to go off (Summer vacation). I told the nurse that difficult child is feeling better about it and in face of yesterday's great day I want to continue. If we have any major problems over the weekend, then I will reconsider. He has not felt weird yesterday or today so I don't forsee any problems. We do expect a little next month from 20 - 10 and if there will be issues more likely the month following with 10 - 10 every other day and/or completly off. I told difficult child that it is healthier to be off medications if it works and he is willing to try, "Whatever you think is best mom". I think he can somewhat understand withdrawals though it is hard to accept while going through them.
  13. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I have had those nights and days where homework is never ending, when I can get difficult child Ii to do it in the 1st place.

    I read the explosive child, I prefered the book "You can't make me, but I can be persuaded"
  14. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Amaze - I have never heard of that book but love it already. What a great title, "You can't make me, but I can be presuaded." So true, so true - I am looking for that one also at the library. I know I can't make my kids do anything and I need some more ideas on how to presuade.