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Substance Abuse
difficult child's bail was revoked, he is in jail again
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 510838"><p>PV,</p><p></p><p>There is something very hard about having your son in jail. I know when my son was in jail it really got to me and was very hard... maybe somehow we take on the shame of it or something even though it is mostly defiinitely not our faullt. However he is now safe and in rehab. That is probably the best thing that could have happened under the circumstances. He was under the impression that no one could stop him from doing what he wanted... and like you said he had to learn the hard way that is not true. My son is exactly the same way.... why they think this way I don't know, and why they have such a hard time learning things most people would get in a heartbeat I don't know.</p><p></p><p>Anyway big hugs to you!</p><p></p><p>As far as telling people. I had a hard time telling people my son was in jail... but over time I have just gotten open about his having a drug problem. I am probably too open but I just find it easier. There are a few people I don't discuss it with or skirt around it for various reasons. And like AG I have found that I actually have gotten a lot of support as well as some surprising commiseration. It seems most people have someone in their family who has drug issues or have had drug issues.</p><p></p><p>As far as what you tell people. Some people you can tell the truth too.... others think about some things you can say, pat answers and then change the subject.</p><p></p><p>When my son was in jail I came up with some answers....lol... such as "oh is in a program studying the correctional system"....."oh he is off finding himself".... I think when you answer vaguely most people get the hint and don't ask for more information.</p><p></p><p>At some point hopefully someone will point out to your son that revoking bail, means that there is no bail and that in fact you could not have bailed him out even if you wanted to. That in fact you are powerless to help him out of these kinds of fixes... and that this is what the real world is like.</p><p></p><p>My son did learn from being in jail that he really does not want to be in jail.... now hopefully he has also learned he really doesn't want to be homeless either.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 510838"] PV, There is something very hard about having your son in jail. I know when my son was in jail it really got to me and was very hard... maybe somehow we take on the shame of it or something even though it is mostly defiinitely not our faullt. However he is now safe and in rehab. That is probably the best thing that could have happened under the circumstances. He was under the impression that no one could stop him from doing what he wanted... and like you said he had to learn the hard way that is not true. My son is exactly the same way.... why they think this way I don't know, and why they have such a hard time learning things most people would get in a heartbeat I don't know. Anyway big hugs to you! As far as telling people. I had a hard time telling people my son was in jail... but over time I have just gotten open about his having a drug problem. I am probably too open but I just find it easier. There are a few people I don't discuss it with or skirt around it for various reasons. And like AG I have found that I actually have gotten a lot of support as well as some surprising commiseration. It seems most people have someone in their family who has drug issues or have had drug issues. As far as what you tell people. Some people you can tell the truth too.... others think about some things you can say, pat answers and then change the subject. When my son was in jail I came up with some answers....lol... such as "oh is in a program studying the correctional system"....."oh he is off finding himself".... I think when you answer vaguely most people get the hint and don't ask for more information. At some point hopefully someone will point out to your son that revoking bail, means that there is no bail and that in fact you could not have bailed him out even if you wanted to. That in fact you are powerless to help him out of these kinds of fixes... and that this is what the real world is like. My son did learn from being in jail that he really does not want to be in jail.... now hopefully he has also learned he really doesn't want to be homeless either. TL [/QUOTE]
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difficult child's bail was revoked, he is in jail again
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