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difficult child's lying
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<blockquote data-quote="OpenWindow" data-source="post: 178143" data-attributes="member: 45"><p>We use the prepaid cards for our XBox - the boys get them for birthday or Christmas.</p><p></p><p>difficult child does not have a cell phone because he can't be trusted. He has taken easy child's cell phone (which my sister paid for and has on her account) and tried to download things and order subscriptions. My sister was able to call the phone company and have the charges canceled. We've caught difficult child both times and he had to do chores to make up for the money the charges (we didn't tell him the charges were cancelled).</p><p></p><p>Lying - I think it's normal for a teen to try to lie. My easy child does it every once in a while but difficult child does it constantly. easy child has learned that lying and getting caught is much worse than telling the truth in the first place, so he doesn't do it very often. difficult child doesn't learn. He still lies because he thinks I'll get mad. I've upped the consequences in the hopes that he will soon realize that lying definitely doesn't work. (husband never learned and still lies about the smallest things just to avoid an argument.) </p><p></p><p>Your husband needs to be on the same page with you - oh how I wish just saying those words would make it so. My husband would never back me up either, and still is not the best in that department. I got him to go to some of difficult children therapy sessions with me and we talked to the therapist about husband at least backing me up. It is better than before - he never changes any of my punishments anymore and tells them that if I say something, that's the way it is. They know they can't go to him to override my punishments. He may not agree with me, but he doesn't let them know that anymore. I'm still the disciplinarian in the house but at least he's not working against me anymore. If your husband won't agree to go to counseling with you, can you arrange a meeting with someone who sees difficult child to talk about your parenting techniques?</p><p></p><p>Linda</p><p></p><p>PS I like Terry's idea of a "do over."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OpenWindow, post: 178143, member: 45"] We use the prepaid cards for our XBox - the boys get them for birthday or Christmas. difficult child does not have a cell phone because he can't be trusted. He has taken easy child's cell phone (which my sister paid for and has on her account) and tried to download things and order subscriptions. My sister was able to call the phone company and have the charges canceled. We've caught difficult child both times and he had to do chores to make up for the money the charges (we didn't tell him the charges were cancelled). Lying - I think it's normal for a teen to try to lie. My easy child does it every once in a while but difficult child does it constantly. easy child has learned that lying and getting caught is much worse than telling the truth in the first place, so he doesn't do it very often. difficult child doesn't learn. He still lies because he thinks I'll get mad. I've upped the consequences in the hopes that he will soon realize that lying definitely doesn't work. (husband never learned and still lies about the smallest things just to avoid an argument.) Your husband needs to be on the same page with you - oh how I wish just saying those words would make it so. My husband would never back me up either, and still is not the best in that department. I got him to go to some of difficult children therapy sessions with me and we talked to the therapist about husband at least backing me up. It is better than before - he never changes any of my punishments anymore and tells them that if I say something, that's the way it is. They know they can't go to him to override my punishments. He may not agree with me, but he doesn't let them know that anymore. I'm still the disciplinarian in the house but at least he's not working against me anymore. If your husband won't agree to go to counseling with you, can you arrange a meeting with someone who sees difficult child to talk about your parenting techniques? Linda PS I like Terry's idea of a "do over." [/QUOTE]
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