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difficult child's lying
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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 178157" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>I'm having flashbacks of Daughter at that age! </p><p> </p><p>We had some epic battles over what she wanted and what her friends (of course, it was EVERYBODY) had. Many were about what they were allowed to do also. At 13, her best friends mother was very permissive. This friend on her 13th birthday was allowed to have her belly button pierced. I also would not allow Daughter to wear thong underwear (she did some sneaking and lying in this area). This same friend, who's Mom received public assistance because she worked for cash under the table, and used two SS numbers, bought her, and her two sisters, all the latest gaming systems, constant trips to various amusement parks. Plus, season passes to the nearest water park. Then, when they turned 16, they were allowed to get tatoos. I can remember Daughter's intense jealousy whenever her friend would boast of the latest gadget her Mom (or one of her Moms latest boyfriends) bought her. </p><p> </p><p>I did reason with her for a while. You know, Mom and Dad have a mortgage (not a section 8 subsidy). Mom and Dad are saving for our retirement. Mom and Dad think it's more important to put our money towards things that are meaningful. Mom and Dad would rather try and do family things. Believe me, Daughter got A LOT. Trip to Australia at 11, music camp twice, caravan camp to Yosemite and SF last summer. Yet, there was NO WAY I was going to be manipulated into buying XBOX, or PS3. Oh, Daughter used to whine about why we only have one car and why don't we get a new one like her friends that also happen to move around like gypsies. </p><p> </p><p>I did finally get her a phone when she was 14 and made the honor roll in high school. But, I wrote before how I used it as leverage for her behavior. Same with her IPOD (an xmas present).</p><p> </p><p>Now, because it's all about driving, she goes on about everybody else's parents buying cars for their kids. Now, I live in a community that has poverty and many people have a low socioeconomic status and we are in a better position financially that most families here, so I'm dubious of that. I am thinking about helping her (because my parents helped me), but if she thinks I'm going to go buy her a car, she's in for a big disappointment. </p><p> </p><p>Of course, I have to admit I did finally break down and buy a Wii two weeks ago. Oh my, I think Son thought he died and went to heaven. </p><p> </p><p>I'm not a COMPLETE monster, you know! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/devil.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":devil:" title="devil :devil:" data-shortname=":devil:" /></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seriously, don't get sucked into what they "all" have. A 13 year old boy isn't going to get it anyway. Save your energy for what he does get. Like no videos games and cellphone for lying. You give him what YOU want, when YOU want.</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, I have no idea what to do with your husband. I know that many others have struggled getting their's on the same page. My husband pretty much goes along with me. If he "cancelled" any consequences, or punishments, I had metted out-I don't know. I probably would have had a meltdown to rival the meltdowns of a thousand difficult children. Enraged wouldn't even begin to describe what I would have felt. I also know that my marriage would have been threatened. That alone would get my husband's attention. </p><p> </p><p>I feel for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 178157, member: 831"] I'm having flashbacks of Daughter at that age! We had some epic battles over what she wanted and what her friends (of course, it was EVERYBODY) had. Many were about what they were allowed to do also. At 13, her best friends mother was very permissive. This friend on her 13th birthday was allowed to have her belly button pierced. I also would not allow Daughter to wear thong underwear (she did some sneaking and lying in this area). This same friend, who's Mom received public assistance because she worked for cash under the table, and used two SS numbers, bought her, and her two sisters, all the latest gaming systems, constant trips to various amusement parks. Plus, season passes to the nearest water park. Then, when they turned 16, they were allowed to get tatoos. I can remember Daughter's intense jealousy whenever her friend would boast of the latest gadget her Mom (or one of her Moms latest boyfriends) bought her. I did reason with her for a while. You know, Mom and Dad have a mortgage (not a section 8 subsidy). Mom and Dad are saving for our retirement. Mom and Dad think it's more important to put our money towards things that are meaningful. Mom and Dad would rather try and do family things. Believe me, Daughter got A LOT. Trip to Australia at 11, music camp twice, caravan camp to Yosemite and SF last summer. Yet, there was NO WAY I was going to be manipulated into buying XBOX, or PS3. Oh, Daughter used to whine about why we only have one car and why don't we get a new one like her friends that also happen to move around like gypsies. I did finally get her a phone when she was 14 and made the honor roll in high school. But, I wrote before how I used it as leverage for her behavior. Same with her IPOD (an xmas present). Now, because it's all about driving, she goes on about everybody else's parents buying cars for their kids. Now, I live in a community that has poverty and many people have a low socioeconomic status and we are in a better position financially that most families here, so I'm dubious of that. I am thinking about helping her (because my parents helped me), but if she thinks I'm going to go buy her a car, she's in for a big disappointment. Of course, I have to admit I did finally break down and buy a Wii two weeks ago. Oh my, I think Son thought he died and went to heaven. I'm not a COMPLETE monster, you know! :devil: Seriously, don't get sucked into what they "all" have. A 13 year old boy isn't going to get it anyway. Save your energy for what he does get. Like no videos games and cellphone for lying. You give him what YOU want, when YOU want. Honestly, I have no idea what to do with your husband. I know that many others have struggled getting their's on the same page. My husband pretty much goes along with me. If he "cancelled" any consequences, or punishments, I had metted out-I don't know. I probably would have had a meltdown to rival the meltdowns of a thousand difficult children. Enraged wouldn't even begin to describe what I would have felt. I also know that my marriage would have been threatened. That alone would get my husband's attention. I feel for you. [/QUOTE]
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