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difficult child's mouth can make you see red
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 637288" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>He had an acute mental health crisis. Has been hospitalised now over a week and should be released tomorrow. I have couple threads about this most recent crisis somewhere here in Parent Emeritus, if you are interested for more details. </p><p></p><p>His career situation is little shaky just now, but it is clear he will not be able to do his job at least for few weeks, but we really don't know what then. Sports and mental health issues are their own kind of mix, I have to say. However we do hope difficult child's stay will be short for both his and our sake. </p><p></p><p>He too left home before he turned 18 and if anything, at least it really helped our relationship with him.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I very much believe that distant makes dearer when it comes to young adult children. Where I live kids start school later and there are also other reasons kids tend to leave home later than i think most do in US. For example our easy child, who is 18 is still living at home and we expect him to stay two or three more years to fulfil all his obligations before he is ready to head to university for example (or make a go in sports, if that seems possible also for him.) We are okay with that with him, but having young adult, even easy going and well behaving like my easy child, under your roof is stressful. Them moving out and having some distance to them tends to change the relationship for better for most families. With difficult child living with them can be so stressful, that it totally impossible to have any positive relationship with them. When they are out and not causing you so much trouble, you slowly start to remember that there was also good things in them. (And to be honest, it happens also other way around.)</p><p></p><p>Guide Me: How about trying to pick some very, very calm moment and try to talk with your daughter about your living situation and you two having to go your separate ways? think what you want to say to her beforehand and stick with that. Try not to blame her (or take all the blame yourself), but stay calm and descriptive rather than argumentative. Maybe even talk with family therapist beforehand and talking about it in therapist office? You really need to get her out, but if you can leave her a feeling that it is also opportunity for her, opportunity to mature, become independent, be her own woman, that really wouldn't hurt.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 637288, member: 14557"] He had an acute mental health crisis. Has been hospitalised now over a week and should be released tomorrow. I have couple threads about this most recent crisis somewhere here in Parent Emeritus, if you are interested for more details. His career situation is little shaky just now, but it is clear he will not be able to do his job at least for few weeks, but we really don't know what then. Sports and mental health issues are their own kind of mix, I have to say. However we do hope difficult child's stay will be short for both his and our sake. He too left home before he turned 18 and if anything, at least it really helped our relationship with him. I very much believe that distant makes dearer when it comes to young adult children. Where I live kids start school later and there are also other reasons kids tend to leave home later than i think most do in US. For example our easy child, who is 18 is still living at home and we expect him to stay two or three more years to fulfil all his obligations before he is ready to head to university for example (or make a go in sports, if that seems possible also for him.) We are okay with that with him, but having young adult, even easy going and well behaving like my easy child, under your roof is stressful. Them moving out and having some distance to them tends to change the relationship for better for most families. With difficult child living with them can be so stressful, that it totally impossible to have any positive relationship with them. When they are out and not causing you so much trouble, you slowly start to remember that there was also good things in them. (And to be honest, it happens also other way around.) Guide Me: How about trying to pick some very, very calm moment and try to talk with your daughter about your living situation and you two having to go your separate ways? think what you want to say to her beforehand and stick with that. Try not to blame her (or take all the blame yourself), but stay calm and descriptive rather than argumentative. Maybe even talk with family therapist beforehand and talking about it in therapist office? You really need to get her out, but if you can leave her a feeling that it is also opportunity for her, opportunity to mature, become independent, be her own woman, that really wouldn't hurt. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child's mouth can make you see red
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