I met difficult child at the mall Tuesday. It was her day off and we planned this day to spend together. We shopped, I bought her a sweater dress to wear to our extended family Christmas on Dec 10. It looked adorable on her and was on sale for $19 at Macy's with my coupons. She showed me a purse she wanted, also very reasonably priced and on sale and a couple things for Christmas. I talked about how she was now an adult and the time when she got fun things for Christmas to play with were gone and now she got things she needed for herself or her apartment. So while she still looked at frivolous items she seemed to accept that she wasn't going to get them.
On the way out she said "well at least this year easy child isn't going to find out on the day before Christmas that I stole her credit card and got a tatoo." She said it with such sincerity and yet it was a lighthearted moment and we both laughed until we cried. I told her that was an awful time in our lives and I was so glad this year was better.
difficult child is still living with her sober friend and has a good group of sober people around her. I wish she had more women friends, she is so vulnerable to men who show her attention. She has been at her new job for three weeks now and gets her first paycheck today. That's good because she has to pay her rent. Her car was towed again Monday because she was parked on the main street in rush hour. There is literally no parking around the apartment and the police use this as a money making scheme, waiting until 7am every morning with tow truck behind them. I wish she would find a place with parking but at least it's safe and she has a good roommate. But that cost us another $120 to help her get the car out so she could go to work.
So as far as we can tell right now things are going well. I dont snoop much anymore. I let her take her laptop with her after thanksgiving so I can't see much other than what she writes on her wall, and I don't even look at her cell phone calls anymore. She was pleasant on Thanksgiving and we enjoyed her company.
I'm not saying everything is perfect. She did take the $50 grocery store gift card we gave her and turn it into a debit card and buy boots at the mall and then lied about it after I found the activation slip in her car. But she did try to return the boots and finally confessed. She still has a big problem with impulse control and lying. She would use her last dollar to buy something she saw that she just had to have rather than put food on her table. I suggested she work on the truth telling with her sponsor. But she is sober and she is working and she is pleasant to us. A far cry from last year.
Nancy
On the way out she said "well at least this year easy child isn't going to find out on the day before Christmas that I stole her credit card and got a tatoo." She said it with such sincerity and yet it was a lighthearted moment and we both laughed until we cried. I told her that was an awful time in our lives and I was so glad this year was better.
difficult child is still living with her sober friend and has a good group of sober people around her. I wish she had more women friends, she is so vulnerable to men who show her attention. She has been at her new job for three weeks now and gets her first paycheck today. That's good because she has to pay her rent. Her car was towed again Monday because she was parked on the main street in rush hour. There is literally no parking around the apartment and the police use this as a money making scheme, waiting until 7am every morning with tow truck behind them. I wish she would find a place with parking but at least it's safe and she has a good roommate. But that cost us another $120 to help her get the car out so she could go to work.
So as far as we can tell right now things are going well. I dont snoop much anymore. I let her take her laptop with her after thanksgiving so I can't see much other than what she writes on her wall, and I don't even look at her cell phone calls anymore. She was pleasant on Thanksgiving and we enjoyed her company.
I'm not saying everything is perfect. She did take the $50 grocery store gift card we gave her and turn it into a debit card and buy boots at the mall and then lied about it after I found the activation slip in her car. But she did try to return the boots and finally confessed. She still has a big problem with impulse control and lying. She would use her last dollar to buy something she saw that she just had to have rather than put food on her table. I suggested she work on the truth telling with her sponsor. But she is sober and she is working and she is pleasant to us. A far cry from last year.
Nancy
for you, husband, easy child, and definitely difficult child!
