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General Parenting
difficult child's senior award ceremony
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 272888"><p>I'm so sorry.</p><p>I recall our difficult children hs graduation was difficult and it was NOTHING like THIS!</p><p> </p><p>I like to use certain "key" words to describe difficult child behavior. They provide a little detachment room for me. </p><p> </p><p>My fave is "unacceptable." There is no judgment. It just says it like it is.</p><p> </p><p>I'll be honest...having our difficult child on disability opened up some doors. Is this any possibility for your child?</p><p> </p><p>Whether it is or not...only matters a tad financially.</p><p> </p><p>What helped my husband and I <strong><u><em>the most, is learning to look at the entire situation from a different perspective.</em></u></strong></p><p> </p><p>Here is my advice to you:</p><p> </p><p><strong>1.</strong> Google Families Anonymous. Find a mtg. GO GO GO GO GO GO. Do it now!!!!!!</p><p><strong>2.</strong> Google the serentiy prayer. Print it. Read it while you are waiting to attend the mtg.</p><p> </p><p><strong>3a</strong> I liked what you said here...</p><p>I am determined to start living my life.</p><p>I am determined to start living my life.</p><p>I am determined to start living my life.</p><p>I am determined to start living my life.</p><p>I am determined to start living my life.</p><p>I am determined to start living my life.</p><p>I am determined to start living my life.</p><p>I am determined to start living my life.</p><p><strong>3b</strong> READ the above statement 1000000x times.</p><p>Then read 100x more.</p><p> </p><p><strong>4.</strong> You might ask your daughter if she has a plan after hs. Give her perhaps a week to figure one out. If she doesn't have a plan in place, then I would ask her to move out. If she has a plan, then she needs to stick to it. If she is on drugs, she needs to get to rehab NOW. Otherwise, she shouldn't be allowed to stay at your home. </p><p> </p><p><strong>5.</strong> Discuss with- your husband what you might be willing and able to provide for your daughter in terms of necessities...food, shelter and medical expenses...perhaps for a month or two. I would limit this and let her know when the time period will end. After that, perhaps medical expenses only. <u>Stick to your guns.</u> </p><p> </p><p><strong>6.</strong> I personally would not change your phone number, unless you don't trust yourself or she is VERY abusive to you.</p><p>Instead, I would not answer the phone at weird hours. Turn it OFF. If she becomes abusive to you or starts begging you for money, etc, get off fast. Hang up if needed. Do <u>not </u>entertain "unacceptable" conversations. YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU.</p><p> </p><p><u><span style="color: darkorchid"><strong><em>7. Think about what YOU enjoy doing. Go DO IT!NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!</em></strong></span></u></p><p><strong><em><u><span style="color: #9932cc">As you know, you are your choices. You TRIED to teach your daughter this. She did NOT understand. YOU understand. You need to take this knowedge and make a choice to move forward Nancy.</span></u></em></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 272888"] I'm so sorry. I recall our difficult children hs graduation was difficult and it was NOTHING like THIS! I like to use certain "key" words to describe difficult child behavior. They provide a little detachment room for me. My fave is "unacceptable." There is no judgment. It just says it like it is. I'll be honest...having our difficult child on disability opened up some doors. Is this any possibility for your child? Whether it is or not...only matters a tad financially. What helped my husband and I [B][U][I]the most, is learning to look at the entire situation from a different perspective.[/I][/U][/B] Here is my advice to you: [B]1.[/B] Google Families Anonymous. Find a mtg. GO GO GO GO GO GO. Do it now!!!!!! [B]2.[/B] Google the serentiy prayer. Print it. Read it while you are waiting to attend the mtg. [B]3a[/B] I liked what you said here... I am determined to start living my life. I am determined to start living my life. I am determined to start living my life. I am determined to start living my life. I am determined to start living my life. I am determined to start living my life. I am determined to start living my life. I am determined to start living my life. [B]3b[/B] READ the above statement 1000000x times. Then read 100x more. [B]4.[/B] You might ask your daughter if she has a plan after hs. Give her perhaps a week to figure one out. If she doesn't have a plan in place, then I would ask her to move out. If she has a plan, then she needs to stick to it. If she is on drugs, she needs to get to rehab NOW. Otherwise, she shouldn't be allowed to stay at your home. [B]5.[/B] Discuss with- your husband what you might be willing and able to provide for your daughter in terms of necessities...food, shelter and medical expenses...perhaps for a month or two. I would limit this and let her know when the time period will end. After that, perhaps medical expenses only. [U]Stick to your guns.[/U] [B]6.[/B] I personally would not change your phone number, unless you don't trust yourself or she is VERY abusive to you. Instead, I would not answer the phone at weird hours. Turn it OFF. If she becomes abusive to you or starts begging you for money, etc, get off fast. Hang up if needed. Do [U]not [/U]entertain "unacceptable" conversations. YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU. [U][COLOR=darkorchid][B][I]7. Think about what YOU enjoy doing. Go DO IT!NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!![/I][/B][/COLOR][/U] [B][I][U][COLOR=#9932cc]As you know, you are your choices. You TRIED to teach your daughter this. She did NOT understand. YOU understand. You need to take this knowedge and make a choice to move forward Nancy.[/COLOR][/U][/I][/B] [/QUOTE]
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