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General Parenting
difficult child's senior award ceremony
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 273552"><p>(Hugs)</p><p>There is a chance she is feeding off of your anguish.</p><p>Honestly, I just wouldn't have it anymore.</p><p>Please consider googling for the FA meetings and consider attending.</p><p>Al Anon might also be appropriate...I'm not sure.</p><p>You might read information about Borderline and Co-dependency.</p><p>You will be setting a healthy example for her as you start to "live your life." Like Terry and the others have talked about...she is more likely to find her way, as you step out of this world you have been living in and let her live her life the way she choses. You might provide a gentle assist now and then, but that's about it.</p><p>If things change, you might do a little more...</p><p>This doesn't mean that you failed. This doesn't mean that you don't care deeply for her. </p><p>It just means that you have decided to let go and let her grow and you are moving forward with your life.</p><p>Time to re discover your needs (do you have hobbies...interests...what are they???)</p><p>and make sure your relationship with your husband is well nurtured.</p><p>It feels really crummy right now....my guess is that things are likely to get better. You have already expressed your doubts about what is in the cards for her. And honestly, perhaps "better" for her is a different definition than what it is for others. All you can do is hope for the best. There is no need for bitterness. It really is ashame. </p><p>However, you CAN control YOU. You can control your thoughts, actions and behaviors.</p><p>by the way...if difficult child doesn't go to graduation, you and husband go briefly...and afterwards go on a lovely date...just the two of you!!! AND if you haven't been "dating" now is the time to start again (with your husband of course! LOLOLOL!!!)</p><p>These events that have occured are just a very tough transition and you are shell shocked by it all. I know...I have been there done that. Reading, prayer, therapy, the FA meetings, DETACHMENT....all made a <strong>humongous difference</strong> in my life.</p><p>Wishing you well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 273552"] (Hugs) There is a chance she is feeding off of your anguish. Honestly, I just wouldn't have it anymore. Please consider googling for the FA meetings and consider attending. Al Anon might also be appropriate...I'm not sure. You might read information about Borderline and Co-dependency. You will be setting a healthy example for her as you start to "live your life." Like Terry and the others have talked about...she is more likely to find her way, as you step out of this world you have been living in and let her live her life the way she choses. You might provide a gentle assist now and then, but that's about it. If things change, you might do a little more... This doesn't mean that you failed. This doesn't mean that you don't care deeply for her. It just means that you have decided to let go and let her grow and you are moving forward with your life. Time to re discover your needs (do you have hobbies...interests...what are they???) and make sure your relationship with your husband is well nurtured. It feels really crummy right now....my guess is that things are likely to get better. You have already expressed your doubts about what is in the cards for her. And honestly, perhaps "better" for her is a different definition than what it is for others. All you can do is hope for the best. There is no need for bitterness. It really is ashame. However, you CAN control YOU. You can control your thoughts, actions and behaviors. by the way...if difficult child doesn't go to graduation, you and husband go briefly...and afterwards go on a lovely date...just the two of you!!! AND if you haven't been "dating" now is the time to start again (with your husband of course! LOLOLOL!!!) These events that have occured are just a very tough transition and you are shell shocked by it all. I know...I have been there done that. Reading, prayer, therapy, the FA meetings, DETACHMENT....all made a [B]humongous difference[/B] in my life. Wishing you well. [/QUOTE]
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