Difficult times once again

[llamafarm]

Ughh. We are back to my husband having a difficult time coping with difficult child. I am cutting back at work at nights so husband doesn't have to watch the kids alone. difficult child is pretty much out of control, but he has pretty much stopped the hitting now. The language is so dirty and he yells at the top of his lungs when ever he has an opinion that doesn't agree with ours. Babysitters are expensive! In fact one service I use I pay more per hour than I make! So today I had to make the decision to call off work instead of a babysitter or ask for favor of friends. I like work, I can get away. Unfortunately right now husband feels everything is overwhelming. He needs help. He is so negative. He has been to many counselors and psychiatrists, but his only way to feel energized is to get away. He does not like coming home. That is so sad.

 

[Bunny]

Would your husband be willing to see a counselor so that he can get his feelings towards and about difficult child out in the open? That might help him to be able to deal with difficult child in a better way. I'm sorry that your only choice right now is to call out of work because that seems like a release for you.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Men and depression. YUCK.
Skip the therapist stuff... his reactions make me think that it might be time to push the medications option - and if he is on medications, then push for adjustment. You don't need a husband who is going downhill at the same time that you have a difficult child who's a major handful.

Let's see... You might have to borrow Star's donkey to get him to go, though (i.e. use the donkey to drag him there if you have to)

 

[llamafarm]

Ha! Ha! No husband won't do medications. Long story of bad history with them. He prefers exercise. That is difficult because he gets up early to get it out of the way. But then he is exhausted the rest of the day. I did drag him off to get help when things were bad in the early spring. Tried medications due to my pushing, but they made him sick the first day and there seems to be no convincing him now.

 

[BusynMember]

Is this his biological son?

Trust me, from one who tried, serious deprssion will not go away because you exercise. Exercise is wonderful and I try to do it for at least 1/2 hour a day (or longer) to help with the depression. but alone it is not enough. If I didn't take medications, I wouldn't be much fun to be around as depression makes one grumpy and unable to handle with even mild stress. Any way to talk him into seeing a psychiatrist or is it really hopeless? It seems so unfair t hat you have to do it all yourself.

 

[llamafarm]

Yes our children are both our biological children.i am starting to vocalize my doubts about his exercise regimen. He has always used exercise, but it han't always helped. Especially now. He is traveling less now and is starting to see what life at home is really like.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Llama- My husband is the same way. He exercises for hours at a time. And when he comes home he is absolutely horrid to deal with. He is grouchy, snappish, and can be just downright mean. He says it is because he is overwhelmed, but he just doesn't want to have to deal with difficult child. When I went on vacation, he actually called me to ask if veggie pizza was part of the sale the local pizza place was having. And, he let difficult child stay home for 3 of the 4 days I was gone. She was "sick" and then we were back at square one with her issues.

I hope he can get past the funk, and is more helpful at home.