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Disaster after disaster
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 325844" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>Ugh. been there done that with my son, I know it's not fun. I think you've got the right idea with wanting furthing examinations/testing. Are you in an area with a good children's hospital? They can be a big help. I would start calling around (after checking your insurance) and see if you can find a good neuropsychologist (that specializes in children) and either get an appointment set up or see what you need to do to start the process. </p><p></p><p>I'm sure this has been suggested before but have you read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene? It doesn't do anything to treat behaviors but it goes a long way to changing how you deal as a parent and can help cut back some of the tension and negativity. </p><p></p><p>Until you can get more testing done, I would just pick your battles. That's not saying give in, just decide what your "biggies" are with the rules and focus on those for now. Decide ahead of time on consequences and stick with them. It probably won't help with the attitude but it will give you and your wife a set way of responding so to speak. Ex: If son does X, then the constant consequence is A. You won't second guess yourselves or be caught searching for an appropriate consequence. Reinforce them with difficult child. If he's throwing a fit because he has homework, "Sorry son, you know that homework is done before Tv. That's the rule." </p><p></p><p>Whatever you decide on for the rules/consequences, stick with them. Also, if you decide that homework is to be done at the kitchen table, remove all distractions. No electronics, tv, etc. Although, with my difficult child, there have been times he's been allowed his mp3 player because it helps him block out distracting noises and he's able to focus more on his work. If there is something that helps yours like that, then yes, allow it. Otherwise, nothing else is happening until homework/chores/whatever is done. Basically, make your expectations known and stick with them. If he doesn't want to play along, then his world gets very, very limited.</p><p></p><p>Try to get through the weekend but put a call in to the therapist ASAP, today if you have to. Let the office know that you need her to call you back IMMEDIATELY as soon as she gets in. </p><p></p><p>I would also advise locking things up or removing from them from the house if possible, whenever you take things away from difficult child. In our case, we've had things taken away but difficult child found them and it didnt' do any good until we literally locked stuff up.</p><p></p><p>I know this is hard, I've been there. Hang in there and go for more testing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 325844, member: 2459"] Ugh. been there done that with my son, I know it's not fun. I think you've got the right idea with wanting furthing examinations/testing. Are you in an area with a good children's hospital? They can be a big help. I would start calling around (after checking your insurance) and see if you can find a good neuropsychologist (that specializes in children) and either get an appointment set up or see what you need to do to start the process. I'm sure this has been suggested before but have you read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene? It doesn't do anything to treat behaviors but it goes a long way to changing how you deal as a parent and can help cut back some of the tension and negativity. Until you can get more testing done, I would just pick your battles. That's not saying give in, just decide what your "biggies" are with the rules and focus on those for now. Decide ahead of time on consequences and stick with them. It probably won't help with the attitude but it will give you and your wife a set way of responding so to speak. Ex: If son does X, then the constant consequence is A. You won't second guess yourselves or be caught searching for an appropriate consequence. Reinforce them with difficult child. If he's throwing a fit because he has homework, "Sorry son, you know that homework is done before Tv. That's the rule." Whatever you decide on for the rules/consequences, stick with them. Also, if you decide that homework is to be done at the kitchen table, remove all distractions. No electronics, tv, etc. Although, with my difficult child, there have been times he's been allowed his mp3 player because it helps him block out distracting noises and he's able to focus more on his work. If there is something that helps yours like that, then yes, allow it. Otherwise, nothing else is happening until homework/chores/whatever is done. Basically, make your expectations known and stick with them. If he doesn't want to play along, then his world gets very, very limited. Try to get through the weekend but put a call in to the therapist ASAP, today if you have to. Let the office know that you need her to call you back IMMEDIATELY as soon as she gets in. I would also advise locking things up or removing from them from the house if possible, whenever you take things away from difficult child. In our case, we've had things taken away but difficult child found them and it didnt' do any good until we literally locked stuff up. I know this is hard, I've been there. Hang in there and go for more testing. [/QUOTE]
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