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Disaster after disaster
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 325913" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>The others have given good advice, which I totally agree with. I have one other piece, that I feel is a MUST.</p><p></p><p>Get him tested/evaluated for drug and alcohol use. Sudden behavior changes can be a huge red flag for these. My own brother had some very sudden changes in behavior that sound like your son. My parents never checked for this, not for years. He had started to drink at a "trusted" neighbors house. Their sons were older and the dad was an alcoholic. The basement was off-limits to all females, except for the mom and daughter to go do the laundry there. They had a fridge that was always full of beer. Nothing else. The boys and their friends were down there playing pool all the time. My bro had an enormous stash of porn and brought some over as part of his "ticket" to join them. Once he started that first beer he was hooked. Many years later, in his mid thirties, he hit bottom and started to walk that road called recovery. </p><p></p><p>If my parents had even gone into the basement of the neighbors (just across the street, they spent many hours talking and having coffee at our house or theirs) they would have had their eyes open, but they didn't. </p><p></p><p>Go and search his room. Not just once. OFTEN. With his actions does he really need privacy? Or will that be just another way to hide whatever is the problem, IF it is a substance abuse problem?</p><p></p><p>I totally agree with doing what the others say, but you also need to look into how his friends act, does he have new friends, where is he spending his time, esp when he is not with you, what exactly is he hiding, and where? All of these and more need to be investigated. </p><p></p><p>I hope that you can figure out what is going on and get whatever help he needs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 325913, member: 1233"] The others have given good advice, which I totally agree with. I have one other piece, that I feel is a MUST. Get him tested/evaluated for drug and alcohol use. Sudden behavior changes can be a huge red flag for these. My own brother had some very sudden changes in behavior that sound like your son. My parents never checked for this, not for years. He had started to drink at a "trusted" neighbors house. Their sons were older and the dad was an alcoholic. The basement was off-limits to all females, except for the mom and daughter to go do the laundry there. They had a fridge that was always full of beer. Nothing else. The boys and their friends were down there playing pool all the time. My bro had an enormous stash of porn and brought some over as part of his "ticket" to join them. Once he started that first beer he was hooked. Many years later, in his mid thirties, he hit bottom and started to walk that road called recovery. If my parents had even gone into the basement of the neighbors (just across the street, they spent many hours talking and having coffee at our house or theirs) they would have had their eyes open, but they didn't. Go and search his room. Not just once. OFTEN. With his actions does he really need privacy? Or will that be just another way to hide whatever is the problem, IF it is a substance abuse problem? I totally agree with doing what the others say, but you also need to look into how his friends act, does he have new friends, where is he spending his time, esp when he is not with you, what exactly is he hiding, and where? All of these and more need to be investigated. I hope that you can figure out what is going on and get whatever help he needs. [/QUOTE]
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