Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Dissociation, depersonalization symptoms etc.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 588175" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>We are going to marital therapy still and that is going well. Maybe because we haven't much touched sorer difficult child-related issues. When we started there was two appointments to hash out the problems and make a therapy plan we have been following. And we decided to start with easier topics and those are the ones we have gone through till now. We started with things like communicating, chores, lifestyle change due kids growing up and having so much more time in our hands after very busy years, parenting easy child etc. With all that, we are doing very well but all the things difficult child are yet to be tackled. Doing it like this has also produced some rather guilt arousing thoughts probably common for many parents with difficult children. It seems quite clear, that if difficult child wouldn't exist we would be rather wholesome and happy family. And if he wouldn't exist, we wouldn't know what the great things we would had missed among all the heartache. And if someone would had let us choose beforehand a life with our difficult child or without him, I know we both would had chosen not to have him. I find it very lucky we didn't have that choice, but I don't know about husband. And that is one very big elephant in the room.</p><p></p><p>You are right that balance between acknowledging issues and challenges and how hard they are and not accepting our difficult children to short selling themselves. It is so difficult to know the difference between can't and won't with them. Especially when it changes from day to day. And with my difficult child these dissociative symptoms make it again trickier. I mean, if he doesn't even comprehend what is said to him in certain situations, one can not expect him to act according to that. But then again, if he can't take any instruction or correction, he will have very limited opportunities in this world. So I think that only way to really handle these issues is to try to work around them. And for that, knowing and being open about issues is a key and one thing difficult child has to learn to do better is to advocate himself. Learn not to us his issues as excuses, but own up them, not to be so ashamed of them that he would feel the need to just hide them, but acknowledge them and come up with strategies to work around them with other people. Not a short order for one very immature whelp. Thank heavens he does have support around him to help him with all that. And he is motivated and stubborn. <span style="font-size: 9px">(And is it wrong that I would just like to put him into a padded box and hide from big, bad world...)</span></p><p></p><p>husband has also agreed that it would be good for him to see a therapist privately to talk about his and difficult child's relationship. He just wants therapist to be male and to speak our first language. Finding one to fit that profile is easier said than done, but we have located one who may have an opening to a new customer for 5 to 10 appointments in May and June. Hopefully that pans out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 588175, member: 14557"] We are going to marital therapy still and that is going well. Maybe because we haven't much touched sorer difficult child-related issues. When we started there was two appointments to hash out the problems and make a therapy plan we have been following. And we decided to start with easier topics and those are the ones we have gone through till now. We started with things like communicating, chores, lifestyle change due kids growing up and having so much more time in our hands after very busy years, parenting easy child etc. With all that, we are doing very well but all the things difficult child are yet to be tackled. Doing it like this has also produced some rather guilt arousing thoughts probably common for many parents with difficult children. It seems quite clear, that if difficult child wouldn't exist we would be rather wholesome and happy family. And if he wouldn't exist, we wouldn't know what the great things we would had missed among all the heartache. And if someone would had let us choose beforehand a life with our difficult child or without him, I know we both would had chosen not to have him. I find it very lucky we didn't have that choice, but I don't know about husband. And that is one very big elephant in the room. You are right that balance between acknowledging issues and challenges and how hard they are and not accepting our difficult children to short selling themselves. It is so difficult to know the difference between can't and won't with them. Especially when it changes from day to day. And with my difficult child these dissociative symptoms make it again trickier. I mean, if he doesn't even comprehend what is said to him in certain situations, one can not expect him to act according to that. But then again, if he can't take any instruction or correction, he will have very limited opportunities in this world. So I think that only way to really handle these issues is to try to work around them. And for that, knowing and being open about issues is a key and one thing difficult child has to learn to do better is to advocate himself. Learn not to us his issues as excuses, but own up them, not to be so ashamed of them that he would feel the need to just hide them, but acknowledge them and come up with strategies to work around them with other people. Not a short order for one very immature whelp. Thank heavens he does have support around him to help him with all that. And he is motivated and stubborn. [SIZE=1](And is it wrong that I would just like to put him into a padded box and hide from big, bad world...)[/SIZE] husband has also agreed that it would be good for him to see a therapist privately to talk about his and difficult child's relationship. He just wants therapist to be male and to speak our first language. Finding one to fit that profile is easier said than done, but we have located one who may have an opening to a new customer for 5 to 10 appointments in May and June. Hopefully that pans out. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Dissociation, depersonalization symptoms etc.
Top