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Parent Emeritus
Do you throw them out? What are YOUR feelings ? Explain your detachment.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 409946"><p>Like as been said, dealing with mental illness alone and drug abuse (alone) might be a little different (but not by much, really). </p><p>Surely, most...if not all of us...are likely to make the offer to our adult children for help. That help would come in the form of the services of a mental health professional, rehab or both. We always make the offer of mental health services and medication open to our adult daughter. And, by the way, I wasn't as strict with her prior to the age of 21 as I am now. I think, as you said, they are so developmentally immature...that the age of 18 is just a random number and 21 is at least a little closer to a more appropriate age to consider them old enough to know what is going on in this world. Our daughter moved out between the ages of 18 and 21 and it was a really good thing for my husband and myself. I do believe that I would have invited her to leave at 21, whether she wanted to or not. She has had great difficulty living on her own. I think each family has to make a personal decision as to what is appropriate in terms of help. Since our daughter suffers from mental illness and to a certain extent has issues related to a physical injury. We offer her some very limited help and she is also on disability. We DO expect her to do what she can in the world in terms of caring for herself, trying to get part time work, staying out of trouble...etc. However, she falters often and is faltering very badly at this time. We will not rescue her. If she asks for help, and if wont hurt our family to give her that help, we will offer her help. I have no guilt because of any of this. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that great efforts have been made to help her. I have moments that my mommy hearts hurts badly and I do wish things were different. But, I quickly pull myself together and move forward. Coming here helps a little as I know you folks understand the tremendous heartache this all can be at times.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 409946"] Like as been said, dealing with mental illness alone and drug abuse (alone) might be a little different (but not by much, really). Surely, most...if not all of us...are likely to make the offer to our adult children for help. That help would come in the form of the services of a mental health professional, rehab or both. We always make the offer of mental health services and medication open to our adult daughter. And, by the way, I wasn't as strict with her prior to the age of 21 as I am now. I think, as you said, they are so developmentally immature...that the age of 18 is just a random number and 21 is at least a little closer to a more appropriate age to consider them old enough to know what is going on in this world. Our daughter moved out between the ages of 18 and 21 and it was a really good thing for my husband and myself. I do believe that I would have invited her to leave at 21, whether she wanted to or not. She has had great difficulty living on her own. I think each family has to make a personal decision as to what is appropriate in terms of help. Since our daughter suffers from mental illness and to a certain extent has issues related to a physical injury. We offer her some very limited help and she is also on disability. We DO expect her to do what she can in the world in terms of caring for herself, trying to get part time work, staying out of trouble...etc. However, she falters often and is faltering very badly at this time. We will not rescue her. If she asks for help, and if wont hurt our family to give her that help, we will offer her help. I have no guilt because of any of this. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that great efforts have been made to help her. I have moments that my mommy hearts hurts badly and I do wish things were different. But, I quickly pull myself together and move forward. Coming here helps a little as I know you folks understand the tremendous heartache this all can be at times. [/QUOTE]
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Do you throw them out? What are YOUR feelings ? Explain your detachment.
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