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Do you throw them out? What are YOUR feelings ? Explain your detachment.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 410584" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Kicking my difficult child out was the most difficult thing I have ever done. Our story is very much like toughlovin's. After rehab we let difficult child come back home with clear rules that she work her program. That did not last long and she began using again regularly, staying out all night, and breaking every rule of our home. It came to a head one night at midnight when she announced she was going to a neighbor's to sleep. We told her if she went she could not come back home. The next day she tried to come home and we had to call the police to have her removed. As she left she said some very offensive things to me and husband. She has not been back since and that was two weeks ago.</p><p></p><p>I can't say I have detached yet. I asked my easy child to go with me to the mall last wekend to return some things that I bought difficult child that still had tags on. I couldn't even walk into the store without crying, remembering that just the week before difficult child and I were shopping together. Thank goodness easy child made the returns for me. Everytime I go into her room I cry. I have been cleaning it out a little each day trying to get rid of a lot of the memories, good and bad. I mourn for what we will never have again, but I am coming to realize that difficult child never wanted to be part of our family anyway and so it is stupid of me to keep hanging onto something that was never there.</p><p></p><p>Each day is getting a little easier. I feel like I have really lost her and I have to walk through the pain before it will get better. If I allow myself to go into that dark place in my head I get a panic attack, wondering what she is doing and if she is eating and thinking how scared I would be in her position. But then I try to put other things in my head and push those thoughts back into the corner.</p><p></p><p>This pain is at times unbearable, but I am learning that detachment does help and does come easier the longer she is gone.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 410584, member: 59"] Kicking my difficult child out was the most difficult thing I have ever done. Our story is very much like toughlovin's. After rehab we let difficult child come back home with clear rules that she work her program. That did not last long and she began using again regularly, staying out all night, and breaking every rule of our home. It came to a head one night at midnight when she announced she was going to a neighbor's to sleep. We told her if she went she could not come back home. The next day she tried to come home and we had to call the police to have her removed. As she left she said some very offensive things to me and husband. She has not been back since and that was two weeks ago. I can't say I have detached yet. I asked my easy child to go with me to the mall last wekend to return some things that I bought difficult child that still had tags on. I couldn't even walk into the store without crying, remembering that just the week before difficult child and I were shopping together. Thank goodness easy child made the returns for me. Everytime I go into her room I cry. I have been cleaning it out a little each day trying to get rid of a lot of the memories, good and bad. I mourn for what we will never have again, but I am coming to realize that difficult child never wanted to be part of our family anyway and so it is stupid of me to keep hanging onto something that was never there. Each day is getting a little easier. I feel like I have really lost her and I have to walk through the pain before it will get better. If I allow myself to go into that dark place in my head I get a panic attack, wondering what she is doing and if she is eating and thinking how scared I would be in her position. But then I try to put other things in my head and push those thoughts back into the corner. This pain is at times unbearable, but I am learning that detachment does help and does come easier the longer she is gone. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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Do you throw them out? What are YOUR feelings ? Explain your detachment.
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