Do your children complain of medical conditions they don't have?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by mcdonna, Oct 17, 2016.

  1. mcdonna

    mcdonna Active Member

    I'm wondering about the level of medical disease fabrications by my daughter. Aside from hospitalizations for psychiatric evaluations and overdoses, our daughter seems to be plagued by every disease known to man. I have worked in the health care field all my life - not sure why she would try to pull this over on me.

    Our daughter has told us (and doctors, psychiatrists and pretty much anyone else who will listen) that she has had at any given time: PTSD, endometriosis, inflammatory bowel disease, celiac disease, ovarian cysts, dyspareunia, Dengue fever (twice apparently but her blood titres were negative), malaria, food poisoning, stomach viruses, etc. The only mental health condition she will occasionally admit to is depression.

    The medical system has definitely seen a lot of her! Now that she's an adult with no health insurance doesn't seem to affect her - she just calls and begs for money to get medications or pay her clinic/hospital bill.
     
  2. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    As someone who had endometreosis so severe that it not only rendered me sterile, but nearly killed me 11 years ago (bowel obstruction), and now suffers severe intestinal and urinary tract problems due to the adhesions the endo and laparoscopies and bowel surgery left behind (let's just say everything is all stuck together...) your daughter is unlikely to have endo.

    There are treatments for it today; much better than the blunt force hormone and surgical treatments I went through attempting to have a baby, though even today, it is recommended that women with endo attempt to have children as soon as financially able as the disease only gets worse with repeated periods.

    The rest of it? She's borderline and is seeking attention. May be seeking drugs as well. As regarding the clinic bills? Don't pay them if you have been. Same with the medications. SE Asian countries do have medical resources for the indigent and if she is over there legally, there are resources available to her.
     
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  3. mcdonna

    mcdonna Active Member

    I'm so sorry to hear that, GoingNorth. I worked in Ob/Gyn for 24 years - have seen the nightmare cases of endometriosis, including the bowel obstructions, intestinal/urinary problems and infertility. And these patients had real pain, real symptoms and often no cure. I know my daughter does NOT have Stage III endometriosis (she originally told people she had stage IV). She's using this as her "awareness" bike ride through Asia. I will not support this because it is not true. She thinks she is entitled to a GoFundMe account, which she would really just be using to finance her trip. There are real people who have this disease.

    I assumed that all of this medical illness stuff is attention seeking (and painkillers are definitely on her list). I haven't paid for any hospital bills in the last year.
     
  4. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Good mcdonna.

    Yeah it was horribly painful for many years. (I started having problems about a year after I started my period). Back in the very early 70s, docs though nothing of putting a 12 year old on narcotics for menstrual pain. I literally couldn't function; missed school every month, etc. I went on the pill as soon as I could and finally found an OB who would RX them straight through the month, which helped a lot, but by then my innards were already a mess.

    I can still remember, at 16, being told by a male GYN to "get married as soon as it was legal, and have a baby." Because, not only would I not be able to if I waited, but having a baby would cure me." (Ahem.)

    She needs to be very careful about the drugs in SE Asia: depending on what country she is in, they are everything from OTC to death penalty, and some countries will make examples out of foreigners. If she is travelling on a US Passport, is she getting proper visas as she travels? Is she staying in touch with US embassies?

    I ask because my late husband and i travelled all over Europe while we were in Germany (Army) and documentation, etc had to be kept up with. We didn't have to worry about the embassy issues, etc, because we were Army, and due to the relationship between the countries we visited and the US. (and the fact that we kept our little noses damned clean)
     
  5. mcdonna

    mcdonna Active Member

    OMG. That's a lot of years of pain and misery.

    Daughter has said she has pretty much done every drug in Asia. She knows the rules about being caught with drugs. She's on a Canadian passport and does keep up her VISA requirements. She does border runs when needed. She's already been in jail once for destroying hotel property. If she is incarcerated again, we will not bail her out. Been there, done that. Not happening again. Most days she feels she is above the law. She really doesn't realize that she is a foreigner, Caucasian and female in Asia.

    Tried to tell her that the little villages in Thailand, Cambodia, Laos and Vietnam are not waiting an 'awareness ride' for endometriosis. She's preaching to the wrong choir. Those people are worried about employment, food and shelter. Most of the villages she is stopping in don't have medical clinics, let alone hospitals.
     
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  6. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Endo awareness in SE Asia? Hell, we haven't been able to get a real campaign going in the USA! Thailand is probably the sex-tourism capital of the world and they've just really started to act like they're aware of AIDS and trafficking, though they're sure not turning down Western tourism dollars for that purpose.

    Your daughter is young enough to be at risk of trafficking as well. She isn't safe at all. While a woman being able to have babies is a real worry in Asian culture, especially in rural and tribal culture, lasting effects aren't not yet. As long as she can continue to work in the fields, with her baby strapped to her back, that's all that matters.

    We need to focus on women's education and rights before we start drilling down. This is just grist for your daughter's drama mill.
     
  7. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I doubt this trek across the country has anything to do with Endo Awareness.
     
  8. mcdonna

    mcdonna Active Member

    Yup - just another way to try and get people to crowd-fund her little vacation enterprise and not have to get a job. She doesn't get why I won't "share" her social media stuff with my family & friends.

    Merry-go-round, please let me off at the next stop!
     
  9. sam ilpa

    sam ilpa New Member

    Though my daughter is terminally ill and has multiple real medical conditions, I've heard her tell others she has cancer which she doesn't have. I do believe it's attention seeking. It's also because her illnesses are less known than the infamous cancer diagnosis. I believe she claimed to have cancer because she felt the individuals didn't take her or her medical conditions seriously and that she was seeking money or some type of free ride. Tell someone about your invisible terminal illness and they say you don't look sick. Tell them your cancer is terminal and they empathize with you easier bc someone they know has cancer.
     
  10. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I'm wondering how on earth she is even going to get women in a lot of the more rural villages to even TALK about their periods: it's a really taboo subject in a LOT of cultures, not just SE Asian ones. (More conservative forms of Judaism being an example.)
     
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would want a doctor's letter on his letterhead before I believed it. She sounds like sadly a chronic liar and since she uses drugs, that's what I'd think the money was for. Nobody told her to leave your country. If she's sick she can go back to Canada.
     
  12. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    A little off topic...but funny. My youngest (maybe 13 at the time) watched a tv commercial about menopause...and those who had, weight gain, loss of sleep and irritability. She said we needed to see a doctor because she had those symptoms. LOL

    KSM
     
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  13. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Before she can talk to them about their cycles, she will have to learn all the different languages and dialects of all those different countries!
     
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I doubt she is actually telling people in SE Asia about her 'cause'. It is more for the online people because those are the people with money. I doubt she really cares about the people in the areas she is biking through, she just wants a cause to get money to finance her life.

    As for lying about medical conditions, it is fairly common among drug users. There are many who even shave their heads to fake cancer so they can get money and drugs. I find it abominable.
     
  15. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    That is a caveat. I would suspect, especially in areas that had exposure to US troops during the Vietnam War, that there is some "pidgin" or creole English spoken there, at least by those who were young at the time of the invasion. However, as regards topics of feminine intimacy, I don't think she is going to have much luck. I agree that this is just a sham. If she wants to prove herself, she should hook up with some of the woman's groups in the countries she is ostensibly working in, and throw in with them.
     
  16. mcdonna

    mcdonna Active Member

    It's all a ploy and I know it. She sent me an email this morning asking if I had shared her GoFundMe and Facebook pages to friends, coworkers and family.

    I seriously want to tell her she's a fake and that she is taking advantage of people. I won't because I just don't need more drama. It is embarrassing and maddening. I might email her, "I've done what I can - I know you'll figure out a way to further your ride's awareness." If she pushes back further, I'll follow-up with, "Consider the flight from KL to Bangkok my donation to your cause," (seeing as how I'll never see the money repaid anyway). She'll be mad that "family" hasn't ponied up and given her money. She's deleted all of them on FB so many times that they won't re-add her, except for Grandma, who won't give her any money.

    She'll most likely get 'Dengue Fever' or a bout of malaria again before she finishes this trip. Having said that, she does seem committed and has been cycling 50 miles a day. At least that is keeping her somewhat out of trouble during the day.
     
  17. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Of course it is fake!

    The whole premise is silly.

    I would be shocked if anyone actually falls for it and gives her money.

    Of course, she will double down on the begging and bullying when she needs money, so beware.

    The D Cs often know that if they can come up with a story that is desperate enough, bad enough, scary enough, we will give in and give them what they want. They just have to figure out what story to tell that will pull our heart strings and open our wallets.

    And remember, it has usually worked in the past, so she has no reason to think it won't work again.
     
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