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General Parenting
Do your difficult children seem to enjoy annoying u or others?
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 425444" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hmmm... sounds familiar. In certain moods (not consistently), J seems to enjoy defying and/or provoking me and, to a lesser extent I think, others... I guess there is a certain power in it. Certainly it attracts a lot of attention. What I have found with J is that it is definitely linked to my own attitude towards him - ie if I am being impatient, critical or negative towards him, he will become defiant and oppositional (and round it goes 'cos someone being defiant and oppositional of course tends to make us critical and negative). If I speak to him respectfully and kindly, he is unlikely to take this tone. Does this operate at all with your daughter? As for punishment, I have never had the remotest success with this. Only thing that seems to work is positive reinforcement and awarding "gold stars" which has been quite effective. But the oppositional defying thing IS really annoying, isn't it, really pushes the buttons - which I guess is its unconscious intention. I have to school myself not to rise to the bait, not to join in the game... </p><p>On a slightly different note, could you say more about what "expressive language disorder" is?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 425444, member: 11227"] Hmmm... sounds familiar. In certain moods (not consistently), J seems to enjoy defying and/or provoking me and, to a lesser extent I think, others... I guess there is a certain power in it. Certainly it attracts a lot of attention. What I have found with J is that it is definitely linked to my own attitude towards him - ie if I am being impatient, critical or negative towards him, he will become defiant and oppositional (and round it goes 'cos someone being defiant and oppositional of course tends to make us critical and negative). If I speak to him respectfully and kindly, he is unlikely to take this tone. Does this operate at all with your daughter? As for punishment, I have never had the remotest success with this. Only thing that seems to work is positive reinforcement and awarding "gold stars" which has been quite effective. But the oppositional defying thing IS really annoying, isn't it, really pushes the buttons - which I guess is its unconscious intention. I have to school myself not to rise to the bait, not to join in the game... On a slightly different note, could you say more about what "expressive language disorder" is? [/QUOTE]
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Do your difficult children seem to enjoy annoying u or others?
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