I know I've told our story here before but difficult child has seen psychologists, counselors, etc... off and on for years but the past few years has refused to go. Our main problems were home life but now school is an issue as well!
difficult child has missed the last 3 days of school because he refused to go. He has actually missed 5 in total in a row but the first 2 were legitimate illness. We've been having this problem of not wanting to go to school since Sept. but usually misses one day and then goes for a while before missing another day. He says things like the work is too hard, it's too much for him, the teachers go too fast and he can't understand it all, ( he is usually crying and all upset when saying this) etc... then on the other hand, some days he says he just doesn't feel like going because he hates school and wants to be left alone and is terribly defiant regarding going to school.
We have met with the guidance counselor and school social worker a few times already. They have done what they can for us in terms of making his day less stressful but now with missing this many days, things are changing. The social worker came to our house (this past Fri.) and told us and difficult child that if he will be assigned a probation officer and could even be removed from us if he does not go to school. They want us to call this mobile crisis unit to get help for difficult child and try to get him to school. The social worker is really pressuring us now and says she will make a PINS report ( parents in need of supervision) and we will have to go to court! We are scared for our difficult child because of his increase problems and for us!
We are doing something...we started seeing a psychiatrist and just this past week, she diagnosed difficult child with mood disorder (depression - he says everything is too much for him and he feels overwhelmed, wants to run away) and ADHD. She started difficult child on medications ( first time we have ever put difficult child on medications) and we have to start more counseling but psychiatrist said give the medications a few weeks to start working to make it easier to work with difficult child. Right now it is hard to tell what is emotional problems vs. behavioral.
The school wants reports from psychiatrist since she said if difficult child does not come to school, he may have to get schooled at home for a while. I am just feeling like they are accusing me of not doing what I am supposed to do and I don't want the courts involved. What rights do i have as a parent? Of course I want difficult child in school! I am not hiding him... I am the one who started the contact with guidance and social worker to begin with looking for help! Everyday is a full day of talking and battling with difficult child. First to try to get him to school, then more fights because we tell him if he doesn't go to school, there are no after school sports for him ( he plays on a number of community teams for various sports which is his life) so this brings on anger and tantrums and verbal abuse from him. It is a horrible day for all involved. I am emotionally spent! I do this alone all the time as husband leaves for work by 5 am and does not get home until after 6pm. Besides, husband thinks difficult child just is being stubborn and lazy and the 2 of them are like oil and water when they interact so it's better husband is at work!
Any advice would be great!
jan
difficult child has missed the last 3 days of school because he refused to go. He has actually missed 5 in total in a row but the first 2 were legitimate illness. We've been having this problem of not wanting to go to school since Sept. but usually misses one day and then goes for a while before missing another day. He says things like the work is too hard, it's too much for him, the teachers go too fast and he can't understand it all, ( he is usually crying and all upset when saying this) etc... then on the other hand, some days he says he just doesn't feel like going because he hates school and wants to be left alone and is terribly defiant regarding going to school.
We have met with the guidance counselor and school social worker a few times already. They have done what they can for us in terms of making his day less stressful but now with missing this many days, things are changing. The social worker came to our house (this past Fri.) and told us and difficult child that if he will be assigned a probation officer and could even be removed from us if he does not go to school. They want us to call this mobile crisis unit to get help for difficult child and try to get him to school. The social worker is really pressuring us now and says she will make a PINS report ( parents in need of supervision) and we will have to go to court! We are scared for our difficult child because of his increase problems and for us!
We are doing something...we started seeing a psychiatrist and just this past week, she diagnosed difficult child with mood disorder (depression - he says everything is too much for him and he feels overwhelmed, wants to run away) and ADHD. She started difficult child on medications ( first time we have ever put difficult child on medications) and we have to start more counseling but psychiatrist said give the medications a few weeks to start working to make it easier to work with difficult child. Right now it is hard to tell what is emotional problems vs. behavioral.
The school wants reports from psychiatrist since she said if difficult child does not come to school, he may have to get schooled at home for a while. I am just feeling like they are accusing me of not doing what I am supposed to do and I don't want the courts involved. What rights do i have as a parent? Of course I want difficult child in school! I am not hiding him... I am the one who started the contact with guidance and social worker to begin with looking for help! Everyday is a full day of talking and battling with difficult child. First to try to get him to school, then more fights because we tell him if he doesn't go to school, there are no after school sports for him ( he plays on a number of community teams for various sports which is his life) so this brings on anger and tantrums and verbal abuse from him. It is a horrible day for all involved. I am emotionally spent! I do this alone all the time as husband leaves for work by 5 am and does not get home until after 6pm. Besides, husband thinks difficult child just is being stubborn and lazy and the 2 of them are like oil and water when they interact so it's better husband is at work!
Any advice would be great!
jan