Does it ever go away for good??

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Mom2oddson, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    I swear Ant is like a bad penny that keeps finding it's way back into my life!

    He's been out of the house since Oct 2nd. Life has been getting back to normal. And then....Pow!....he's back!

    He called in a total panic because he needs us to agree to let him do house arrest HERE starting today. If he can't he has to send 5 days in jail.

    And it wasn't a humble plea for help either. It was a nasty demand. uhg.... and an attitude that it was my fault that his life was going bad because I wasn't saying yes right away.

    It took husband about an hour of wrestling with guilt to get on the same page as me..... absolutely NOT!!

    So what if Ant has to sit in jail over Thanksgiving, at least I know that he will be safe. And I don't feel bad in the least and neither does husband. Especially when I reminded husband that he sat in jail at Ant's age for all his driving offenses, so did husband's brothers. And besides that, I saw one of Ant's pay stubs $3,000 net. The kid's net was more than what I make in a MONTH!! He could of paid his fines 3 times over and still had money left.

    Not enabling, not feeling guilty. The kid made his bed so let him enjoy it or not. His choices, his consequences.

    Thanks for all the support and education over the last 11 years! Because of you, I'm able to deal with this. So, even though the plague showed up today, it was dispelled within an hour and life will be good again.

    Oh, and on the bright side of things (to avoid the board curse) a certain female difficult child has been growing up out on her own and is doing well. She's been visiting on Sundays and wants nothing, absolutely nothing from us except to enjoy time with us.
     
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont blame you in the least. I would do the same for Cory today if he asked me that. 5 days? Please. Now if Cory was facing a year and he was humble then I would have to consider it. But just consider it. Most likely I would move to his house..lol.
     
  3. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Good for you! I know it's stressful, even when you're successfully detached. It's official- you are my role model!
     
  4. MISS

    MISS New Member

    It helped me a lot to read this. My sister is housing (enabling) my son and the guilt is overwhelming but REALLY!!!!!!!???? That is their business. I am strong enough and your example is enough to keep me strong. Thank you.
     
  5. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    SO happy to read this - good for you!!! I agree with you a million percent! That is exactly how difficult child makes her "requests" to me. Can't stand it! :/
     
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    very very good....you get the gold star for sure. makes my tiny incident with difficult child wanting the new locks off now because it is making him too upset just silly. Tough, it is the right thing, and I am the MOM, (just like in that song someone posted)...
     
  7. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Detached. Good for you!
     
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well done. :)
     
  9. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You are awesome. Absolutely the right decision, in my opinion.
     
  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good for you. It's amazing the sense of entitlement they feel.

    Nancy
     
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