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General Parenting
Does your kid have the ability to charm/snow people?
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<blockquote data-quote="aninom" data-source="post: 329229" data-attributes="member: 8513"><p>I don't have much to add except been there done that. Still there, in fact. She is such a swell, funny, lively person outside of the home that were we to even BEGIN describing what goes on behind closed doors, we'd have a very tough time. I still remember a particularly bad episode - she'd exploded, gotten violent, reduced the whole family to tears, and in the middle of it her phone rings. "HEEEEEY sweetheart what's up? No, I'm not doing much... Oh kisses! Be there! Bye!" Literally in the middle of hurting you, she can collect herself enough to be this sweet 'ole thing.</p><p> </p><p>That janus face is almost worse than the bad "side" by itself, because it cuts you off so completely from confiding in anybody outside of the family. Especially since she's been spreading the idea for years about how she is the abused victim.</p><p> </p><p>Not to say she hasn't exploded a couple of times when out about town with one of us - it's usually the only way we can talk with her, meet with her at all, in public space - but never in front of anyone that knows her, never in front of medical professionals.</p><p> </p><p>I've thought about recording the episodes but I'm scared of the tantrum to follow if she found out I did, or if I used it to give perspective on her own behavior. What would I do with it?</p><p> </p><p>We believe you. I believe you. You are NOT going crazy, although it may feel like that sometimes. People that have never experienced a duplicity that extreme simply have a hard time imagining it possible, and therefore can't understand even if they want to. That sense of injustice, isolation, etc... I don't know how to deal with those feelings, myself, but know that you're not alone? I wish there was something better to say that would help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="aninom, post: 329229, member: 8513"] I don't have much to add except been there done that. Still there, in fact. She is such a swell, funny, lively person outside of the home that were we to even BEGIN describing what goes on behind closed doors, we'd have a very tough time. I still remember a particularly bad episode - she'd exploded, gotten violent, reduced the whole family to tears, and in the middle of it her phone rings. "HEEEEEY sweetheart what's up? No, I'm not doing much... Oh kisses! Be there! Bye!" Literally in the middle of hurting you, she can collect herself enough to be this sweet 'ole thing. That janus face is almost worse than the bad "side" by itself, because it cuts you off so completely from confiding in anybody outside of the family. Especially since she's been spreading the idea for years about how she is the abused victim. Not to say she hasn't exploded a couple of times when out about town with one of us - it's usually the only way we can talk with her, meet with her at all, in public space - but never in front of anyone that knows her, never in front of medical professionals. I've thought about recording the episodes but I'm scared of the tantrum to follow if she found out I did, or if I used it to give perspective on her own behavior. What would I do with it? We believe you. I believe you. You are NOT going crazy, although it may feel like that sometimes. People that have never experienced a duplicity that extreme simply have a hard time imagining it possible, and therefore can't understand even if they want to. That sense of injustice, isolation, etc... I don't know how to deal with those feelings, myself, but know that you're not alone? I wish there was something better to say that would help. [/QUOTE]
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Does your kid have the ability to charm/snow people?
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