I know Midwest Mom! Actually, after i had written the post this morning (my time), I thought: "This is silly - it's as if I'm wanting or hoping people will say 'Ah, he doesn't like joining in - that means he's... X, Y or Z!" And of course no-one can do that from a distance without knowing the child concerned...
I suppose confusion reigns in regard to my son right now, at least as far as my sense of him goes... nothing seems black and white. For example, he does sometimes interact with children well, play with them appropriately, read social cues. And overall I think I feel - as probably many other parents here feel? - that he is a super little boy, with so much to give and so much generosity of spirit and zest for life and yet... something is not quite right - though I don't even like to put it like that because it makes it sound as if there is a "right" way to be, which I do not believe - and because of this he fails to do himself justice, as it were. It is something to do with development, lagging skills in some ways, I cannot put my finger on it... and in due course, when the time is right, we will have the evaluations that hopefully will tell us more.