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Parent Emeritus
Doing well detaching; but some days it is HAAAARRRRRD
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 610682" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>What a mess, Nomad. </p><p>Strange, now that look back on it, when I first saw your board name yrs ago, and now your difficult child is a Nomad.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, it seems that you are in a lot of emotional pain, which is understandable ... and you talk about detaching, but I think you may need to detach more. (Easy for me to say, since I'm not in your situation!) I see things like the fact that you've given difficult child several microwaves (regardless whether they're garage sale), downpayments, loans, and offers for a soc. worker, and I see that you are still very much involved in her life. </p><p>For all the good it does, does it really do any good? Except to stress you out? Would you be more stressed if you had less contact or no contact? I'm just wondering, because your health is really suffering. Sjogrens AND Lupus AND migraines? Sheesh! I'd be eating Valium like chocolates. </p><p>I don't know how you do it.</p><p>Clearly, your difficult child is suffering from severe mental illness and needs medications. She needs to somehow come to grips with-her situation and I don't know how she is going to do that. Has she ever been arrested? I'm wondering if the police or a scare like that would get her to wake up and smell the coffee. So sorry I have not been on the board much lately; I don't want to make you repeat yourself so you can refer me to old notes if you have links. </p><p>I don't see where she is listening to you AT ALL.</p><p>But as you said, this note is a vent so you're not really looking for a whole lot of advice.</p><p></p><p>I can offer the info that my sister's daughter went through 4 drug rehab experiences before she came clean, and my sister almost lost her mind. No one knows why her daughter was finally ready, although we suspect that getting the feds involved because of a major sting, and her old boyfriend landing in jail may have pushed her over the edge. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Not that your daughter is on drugs, just that these kids are into external and internal forces that we parents are not privy to, and oftentimes, they come around by themselves, or with-the help of others. They know that we parents will never "give up" on them, but also that we are not going to coddle them.</p><p></p><p>I'm sending many hugs and healthy vibes your way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 610682, member: 3419"] What a mess, Nomad. Strange, now that look back on it, when I first saw your board name yrs ago, and now your difficult child is a Nomad. Anyway, it seems that you are in a lot of emotional pain, which is understandable ... and you talk about detaching, but I think you may need to detach more. (Easy for me to say, since I'm not in your situation!) I see things like the fact that you've given difficult child several microwaves (regardless whether they're garage sale), downpayments, loans, and offers for a soc. worker, and I see that you are still very much involved in her life. For all the good it does, does it really do any good? Except to stress you out? Would you be more stressed if you had less contact or no contact? I'm just wondering, because your health is really suffering. Sjogrens AND Lupus AND migraines? Sheesh! I'd be eating Valium like chocolates. I don't know how you do it. Clearly, your difficult child is suffering from severe mental illness and needs medications. She needs to somehow come to grips with-her situation and I don't know how she is going to do that. Has she ever been arrested? I'm wondering if the police or a scare like that would get her to wake up and smell the coffee. So sorry I have not been on the board much lately; I don't want to make you repeat yourself so you can refer me to old notes if you have links. I don't see where she is listening to you AT ALL. But as you said, this note is a vent so you're not really looking for a whole lot of advice. I can offer the info that my sister's daughter went through 4 drug rehab experiences before she came clean, and my sister almost lost her mind. No one knows why her daughter was finally ready, although we suspect that getting the feds involved because of a major sting, and her old boyfriend landing in jail may have pushed her over the edge. :) Not that your daughter is on drugs, just that these kids are into external and internal forces that we parents are not privy to, and oftentimes, they come around by themselves, or with-the help of others. They know that we parents will never "give up" on them, but also that we are not going to coddle them. I'm sending many hugs and healthy vibes your way. [/QUOTE]
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Doing well detaching; but some days it is HAAAARRRRRD
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