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Doing well detaching; but some days it is HAAAARRRRRD
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 610697" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Geez,Nomad, I am so sorry. I can relate to much that you're saying and feeling, since as you may know, I have my own difficult child. </p><p></p><p>It appears as if you've given your difficult child as much as you can and at this point in time, she refuses any further help which might take some of the pressure off of you. Considering your health issues, it seems as if it would be prudent to distance yourself one more step back.</p><p></p><p>I've found with my difficult child that with each 'dramatic event' that my difficult child created it was another 'opportunity' to detach another step. As that occurred, I felt better and my difficult child learned that I would not be available for that particular 'event' any longer. Maybe you are at another one of those steps in the detachment process.......as Terry mentioned, no more microwaves, no more front money for apartments and maybe a weekly check in and no other contact. Like a weaning process for your difficult child.</p><p></p><p>husband and your difficult child had an agreement and she broke it, I would think that is a done deal for Christmas even if she didn't join you last year either. It doesn't sound as if her behavior warrants getting out of the agreement she herself made.</p><p></p><p>My daughter lives in terrible situations, at least that's how I would judge them........and yet for the most part she is not phased by any of it so I decided to not be phased by it as well. </p><p></p><p>This is all so sad Nomad, I completely agree, but at this point it sounds as if anything you do doesn't really help or change anything but does serve to upset you. Perhaps removing yourself from the various scenarios which cause the most stress for you and then moving down that same list until you are removed from <u><em>all</em></u> of the parts that create stress for you. </p><p></p><p>This detachment stuff is so hard, my heart goes out to you. Sending big hugs and warm wishes for peace to return.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 610697, member: 13542"] Geez,Nomad, I am so sorry. I can relate to much that you're saying and feeling, since as you may know, I have my own difficult child. It appears as if you've given your difficult child as much as you can and at this point in time, she refuses any further help which might take some of the pressure off of you. Considering your health issues, it seems as if it would be prudent to distance yourself one more step back. I've found with my difficult child that with each 'dramatic event' that my difficult child created it was another 'opportunity' to detach another step. As that occurred, I felt better and my difficult child learned that I would not be available for that particular 'event' any longer. Maybe you are at another one of those steps in the detachment process.......as Terry mentioned, no more microwaves, no more front money for apartments and maybe a weekly check in and no other contact. Like a weaning process for your difficult child. husband and your difficult child had an agreement and she broke it, I would think that is a done deal for Christmas even if she didn't join you last year either. It doesn't sound as if her behavior warrants getting out of the agreement she herself made. My daughter lives in terrible situations, at least that's how I would judge them........and yet for the most part she is not phased by any of it so I decided to not be phased by it as well. This is all so sad Nomad, I completely agree, but at this point it sounds as if anything you do doesn't really help or change anything but does serve to upset you. Perhaps removing yourself from the various scenarios which cause the most stress for you and then moving down that same list until you are removed from [U][I]all[/I][/U] of the parts that create stress for you. This detachment stuff is so hard, my heart goes out to you. Sending big hugs and warm wishes for peace to return......... [/QUOTE]
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Doing well detaching; but some days it is HAAAARRRRRD
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