hi yup me again. sorry just typing away lately.
i drove 6 hours to see difficult child tonight at hospital. i got there parked truck and went up and they said she didnt' complete so i couldn't see her. I also can't see her tmrw.
i got a call while on road their trying a new approach with-difficult child since what they've been doing isnt' working well. they also said there's a piece missing which is when it gets close to visitation cut off difficult child downs her food.
if difficult child doesnt' complete her meals in 90 minute time frame (an extended 45 minutes) no visitation for following day for her. so that means since she didnt' finish tonight no visitation for her tmrw.
i can try to see her at groups held in a.m. if she completes her food. i told the dr. you have one day with-this approach ill give you till sunday with it. if it doesnt' work you gotta find another route.
they said difficult child is verbalizing very much so now that she is attempting to get ex h and i back together by not eating. she did also admit that she is afraid of choking which has lead to her not eating. yet dr. states there is two components here manipulation and defiance and enjoying the attention and "milking" this disorder right now & thinking she can get my insane ex and i back together AND the multiple diagnosis's that she has ontop of the other junk i just wrote.
he said she is loving the attention this sickness is bringing her, the gifts and rewards from me (which i will stop) they were minimal. he said getting everyone up there to see her dad and me( which ih ave stopped joint visiting 4 days ago)_
he also said to me tonight in order for difficult child to get well you and ex have to deal with-yoru issues also and make it better!! wtf are you kidding me.
i told him in no uncertain terms my marriage ended because my ex h is volatile he blew and was verbally abusive and threatened to hurt me while the kid was in my arms. i had him removed by cops, an order of protection put in place and curbside drop off and pick up. i said he only sees her 5 days a mos. and should not be an integral part of this entire thing righ tnow. i am the decision maker in this scenario not him.
again, he repeated you need to go to family therapy with-him to make her better. ok, that will
only set difficult child up for a fall because dad will not be that involved in her after care. proof positive ten years of me going to doctor's alone with-her.
it will only make difficult child fixate more on getting us back together.
we do not co parent together. i parent and make all decisions medically and academically for her. he is allowed to "be informed" that's it.
also him seeing her this much there is triggering her something awful i know in my heart it is. the pyschdoc seems to think that if we now cut him back she may dig her heels in even more.
so when i go home tmrw. i will:
get court documents and order of protection for them to view.
sit down /them on tuesday and inform them if you would like to have sessions with-difficult child and ex h together that's fine.
yet i wil not sit in family therapy sessions with-him and her.
so i'm really not happy tonight to say the least. i totally messed up here bigtime. i know i did. i was so emotionally wrapped up in what was giong on i should of since the beginning told him you stick to normal visitation while she's in hospital every other weekend and that's that. yet i allowed him in the door with-all his neurosis and anxiety and paranoia that triggers the **** out of her all the time.
i sat alone on the side of highway tonight and just balled and how insane this all is and how now i have to ontop of focusing on getting difficult child better deal with-all this also. oh and my ex mother in law pushing her way in to when will i see her?? i planted her not to worry
i drove 6 hours to see difficult child tonight at hospital. i got there parked truck and went up and they said she didnt' complete so i couldn't see her. I also can't see her tmrw.
i got a call while on road their trying a new approach with-difficult child since what they've been doing isnt' working well. they also said there's a piece missing which is when it gets close to visitation cut off difficult child downs her food.
if difficult child doesnt' complete her meals in 90 minute time frame (an extended 45 minutes) no visitation for following day for her. so that means since she didnt' finish tonight no visitation for her tmrw.
i can try to see her at groups held in a.m. if she completes her food. i told the dr. you have one day with-this approach ill give you till sunday with it. if it doesnt' work you gotta find another route.
they said difficult child is verbalizing very much so now that she is attempting to get ex h and i back together by not eating. she did also admit that she is afraid of choking which has lead to her not eating. yet dr. states there is two components here manipulation and defiance and enjoying the attention and "milking" this disorder right now & thinking she can get my insane ex and i back together AND the multiple diagnosis's that she has ontop of the other junk i just wrote.
he said she is loving the attention this sickness is bringing her, the gifts and rewards from me (which i will stop) they were minimal. he said getting everyone up there to see her dad and me( which ih ave stopped joint visiting 4 days ago)_
he also said to me tonight in order for difficult child to get well you and ex have to deal with-yoru issues also and make it better!! wtf are you kidding me.
i told him in no uncertain terms my marriage ended because my ex h is volatile he blew and was verbally abusive and threatened to hurt me while the kid was in my arms. i had him removed by cops, an order of protection put in place and curbside drop off and pick up. i said he only sees her 5 days a mos. and should not be an integral part of this entire thing righ tnow. i am the decision maker in this scenario not him.
again, he repeated you need to go to family therapy with-him to make her better. ok, that will
only set difficult child up for a fall because dad will not be that involved in her after care. proof positive ten years of me going to doctor's alone with-her.
it will only make difficult child fixate more on getting us back together.
we do not co parent together. i parent and make all decisions medically and academically for her. he is allowed to "be informed" that's it.
also him seeing her this much there is triggering her something awful i know in my heart it is. the pyschdoc seems to think that if we now cut him back she may dig her heels in even more.
so when i go home tmrw. i will:
get court documents and order of protection for them to view.
sit down /them on tuesday and inform them if you would like to have sessions with-difficult child and ex h together that's fine.
yet i wil not sit in family therapy sessions with-him and her.
so i'm really not happy tonight to say the least. i totally messed up here bigtime. i know i did. i was so emotionally wrapped up in what was giong on i should of since the beginning told him you stick to normal visitation while she's in hospital every other weekend and that's that. yet i allowed him in the door with-all his neurosis and anxiety and paranoia that triggers the **** out of her all the time.
i sat alone on the side of highway tonight and just balled and how insane this all is and how now i have to ontop of focusing on getting difficult child better deal with-all this also. oh and my ex mother in law pushing her way in to when will i see her?? i planted her not to worry
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