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<blockquote data-quote="recovering doormat" data-source="post: 277713" data-attributes="member: 5941"><p>I have been there, done that, as far as getting involved in a confrontation with a difficult child that turned physical or vandalizing and failing to call the cops. It's so easy for others to tell you to pick up the phone and call, but as a mother/father it's so difficult. I've only done it twice: once, when I had a safety plan in place that if my son physically struck me, I was to call 911 and have him transported to the emergency room for a psychiatric evaluation, and the second time last September when difficult child 2 pushed my huge, heavy tv off the stand and broke it (thank goodness it wasn't a new one, it was an old piece a garbage, but it was my main TV), then verbally threatened me. He ran away to his dad's house before the cops arrived but I did have him charged with disorderly conduct and they threw in a DV charge for verbal threats. He had to go to juvie court and it was instrumental in getting a judge to order him to committ himself to a diagnostic program in PA after Christmas.</p><p> </p><p>I have found that the police can often be rude and insulting, as if you are pestering them with a parenting task. And therapists can second guess you and ask why you didn't call. After the first time I called, and it did not result in an admission (he didn't meet the criteria), I thought, I'll never expose myself to the sneers and attitude of the police who arrived (four cars, two men in each, for a 13 year old? Adn they ended up letting us drive him ourselves to the hospital). I called the second time because I was fed up with my son trashing my house and my property, and sick of living in fear of him.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn't do any kind of physical aggression or vandalism any more.</p><p> </p><p>However, I think you need to report his physical aggression toward you to someone. It usually escalates, and if he goes after his sister and hurts her you will have to deal with CPS on top of everything else. What does your spouse say about this? Does difficult child only go after you when dad is not around? I think you need a safety plan, and he needs to know what will bring the police and result in him being taken to the hospital.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recovering doormat, post: 277713, member: 5941"] I have been there, done that, as far as getting involved in a confrontation with a difficult child that turned physical or vandalizing and failing to call the cops. It's so easy for others to tell you to pick up the phone and call, but as a mother/father it's so difficult. I've only done it twice: once, when I had a safety plan in place that if my son physically struck me, I was to call 911 and have him transported to the emergency room for a psychiatric evaluation, and the second time last September when difficult child 2 pushed my huge, heavy tv off the stand and broke it (thank goodness it wasn't a new one, it was an old piece a garbage, but it was my main TV), then verbally threatened me. He ran away to his dad's house before the cops arrived but I did have him charged with disorderly conduct and they threw in a DV charge for verbal threats. He had to go to juvie court and it was instrumental in getting a judge to order him to committ himself to a diagnostic program in PA after Christmas. I have found that the police can often be rude and insulting, as if you are pestering them with a parenting task. And therapists can second guess you and ask why you didn't call. After the first time I called, and it did not result in an admission (he didn't meet the criteria), I thought, I'll never expose myself to the sneers and attitude of the police who arrived (four cars, two men in each, for a 13 year old? Adn they ended up letting us drive him ourselves to the hospital). I called the second time because I was fed up with my son trashing my house and my property, and sick of living in fear of him. He doesn't do any kind of physical aggression or vandalism any more. However, I think you need to report his physical aggression toward you to someone. It usually escalates, and if he goes after his sister and hurts her you will have to deal with CPS on top of everything else. What does your spouse say about this? Does difficult child only go after you when dad is not around? I think you need a safety plan, and he needs to know what will bring the police and result in him being taken to the hospital. [/QUOTE]
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