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Don't know what to call this feeling. Indifference maybe?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 427102" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi Ya Jody! </p><p> </p><p>Sooooo I'm taking it you missed the "What I got myself for Mother's Day first annual day of forgetfulness post?" Okay - you can get with us next year. Hmmmm So you got no eggs, cold buttered toast and a colder daughter? I've had that same dish served except male. I'm not sure which is tastier excpet in my house since I didn't have a landlord? I threw the toast and said something ridiculous like "Shove it up your toaster." Except I didn't say toaster, but I said a bad word like glass, minus the gl. Then because the toast was cold buttered? It stuck to my wall next to the door and HOW that happend is a complete mystery, but two pieces of cold buttered toast landing side by side, stuck to the wall? Never happen twice. It did make Dude laugh though....then I think that made me more angry, which made him laugh harder - and that made me laugh - so he grabbed to toast off the wall and stuck them to each side of his butt and said "HERE? Is this where you really wanted them Mom?" </p><p> </p><p>I swear, even when I get angry I can't win, and I don't know what ever made me think I could have one normal holiday ever? Dreams ? I had em. lol. Funny how all those dreams I had are now the best funny stories now, but made me so sad then. For me, and I don't know where you are in the scheme of detachment but Dude went through the whole system and finally into foster care and then they sent him back after a year and a half and OH wasn't that fun - they even did it without us knowing it and gave us like a week or so to plan for THAT - and what sneaky little turds they were about it too. Anyway - somewhere in all of this - (and I had major health issues too while this was going on) I realised that I had to detach. Life just goes on and you think you won't make it, but you do. You sound like the little engine that could and you're running out of steam. been there done that and it's tiresome. </p><p> </p><p>Hearts and Roses had a great suggestion about the counseling. I LOVED my therapist time. I needed it, I didn't want it - but eventually I got to the point where I really liked going. It was like telling someone about all my junk - blowing out my piehole and then leaving feeling about 10 lbs lighter with a plan. A new plan every week. The best thing was - I didn't burden any family or friends. And mostly? By this time (teenage years) I didn't have any friends left anyway. Dudes behaviors had seen to that, and I really didn't mind. Serious loner here. What I did mind was not connecting in anyway to anything. I was just stuck in a rut. I like people as long as I can go home and be alone. Ilike my privacy - but I like to get out and do things. Kids kinda make that impossible especially when you have difficult children - but you have a window of opportunity right now and you are doing the right thing - she acts like a butt - you take her back. Period. Good for you. </p><p> </p><p>As far as the pontiff? Ehhhhhh. I have a lot of thoughts about religion too - but I will just say this much. What is in my heart, and in my prayers are between myself and the man upstairs - the rest? Interpretation as others see it, read it, feel it. I have always found that to live by example is the best way to get people to follow anything you belive in. Tell your daughter a little less talk and a lot more action.....live by example and to be the change she wants to see in the world. </p><p> </p><p>You know of course - it's only TUesday - You can still run out with your $5.00 and join us - I'll wait - go git yerself somethin' nice - and then you can say "I got XX for mothers day" - Go on - just dont get bread and butter. (bad choice)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 427102, member: 4964"] Hi Ya Jody! Sooooo I'm taking it you missed the "What I got myself for Mother's Day first annual day of forgetfulness post?" Okay - you can get with us next year. Hmmmm So you got no eggs, cold buttered toast and a colder daughter? I've had that same dish served except male. I'm not sure which is tastier excpet in my house since I didn't have a landlord? I threw the toast and said something ridiculous like "Shove it up your toaster." Except I didn't say toaster, but I said a bad word like glass, minus the gl. Then because the toast was cold buttered? It stuck to my wall next to the door and HOW that happend is a complete mystery, but two pieces of cold buttered toast landing side by side, stuck to the wall? Never happen twice. It did make Dude laugh though....then I think that made me more angry, which made him laugh harder - and that made me laugh - so he grabbed to toast off the wall and stuck them to each side of his butt and said "HERE? Is this where you really wanted them Mom?" I swear, even when I get angry I can't win, and I don't know what ever made me think I could have one normal holiday ever? Dreams ? I had em. lol. Funny how all those dreams I had are now the best funny stories now, but made me so sad then. For me, and I don't know where you are in the scheme of detachment but Dude went through the whole system and finally into foster care and then they sent him back after a year and a half and OH wasn't that fun - they even did it without us knowing it and gave us like a week or so to plan for THAT - and what sneaky little turds they were about it too. Anyway - somewhere in all of this - (and I had major health issues too while this was going on) I realised that I had to detach. Life just goes on and you think you won't make it, but you do. You sound like the little engine that could and you're running out of steam. been there done that and it's tiresome. Hearts and Roses had a great suggestion about the counseling. I LOVED my therapist time. I needed it, I didn't want it - but eventually I got to the point where I really liked going. It was like telling someone about all my junk - blowing out my piehole and then leaving feeling about 10 lbs lighter with a plan. A new plan every week. The best thing was - I didn't burden any family or friends. And mostly? By this time (teenage years) I didn't have any friends left anyway. Dudes behaviors had seen to that, and I really didn't mind. Serious loner here. What I did mind was not connecting in anyway to anything. I was just stuck in a rut. I like people as long as I can go home and be alone. Ilike my privacy - but I like to get out and do things. Kids kinda make that impossible especially when you have difficult children - but you have a window of opportunity right now and you are doing the right thing - she acts like a butt - you take her back. Period. Good for you. As far as the pontiff? Ehhhhhh. I have a lot of thoughts about religion too - but I will just say this much. What is in my heart, and in my prayers are between myself and the man upstairs - the rest? Interpretation as others see it, read it, feel it. I have always found that to live by example is the best way to get people to follow anything you belive in. Tell your daughter a little less talk and a lot more action.....live by example and to be the change she wants to see in the world. You know of course - it's only TUesday - You can still run out with your $5.00 and join us - I'll wait - go git yerself somethin' nice - and then you can say "I got XX for mothers day" - Go on - just dont get bread and butter. (bad choice) [/QUOTE]
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Don't know what to call this feeling. Indifference maybe?
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