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<blockquote data-quote="SJB" data-source="post: 297927"><p>Wow, thanks everyone. I'm going to try to work my way through some of your questions. Like most of you, I'm sure, I 'knew' there was something wrong with difficult child immediately. Someone mentioned the book <u>The Bipolar Child</u>--if you want an accurate description of her as a baby, it's in that book. I could have written it myself. She was diagnosis ADHD around 2nd or 3rd grade and started taking adderall. We've tried just about everything out there and right now she's on Vyvanse (70mg) which works wonderfully--when she takes it. And when it hasn't worn off. Her psychiatric has tried to add other medications to this from time to time but she absolutely REFUSES to take ANYTHING else. She says we're trying to turn her into a drug addict. I know several of you mentioned the possibility of drug abuse--I doubt it, and she has had a couple of drug screenings through other youth programs she's ended up in and they've come back clean. her latest from her trip to Juvenile hasn't come back yet.</p><p></p><p>Family history--I'm a single mom and have been under treatment for depressoin for years. There is some evidence of similar behaviour in DEXs family (but don't mention that to HIM! of course all difficult children problems are because I "just don't know how to handle her") </p><p></p><p>About this time last year I got her an appointment with a behavioral pediatrician but just before she was set to go in for a full workup, she took off to live with her father. So much for that. Except it lasted from mid July to the end of October. It is almost impossible to get appts with this dr and they clearly state that if you miss an appointment you're done, so there. Well fortunately a friend of mine has managed to get someone in the office to agree to try again as long as I get a referral from her GP. I'm going to see him Monday and will do that then. This Dr told me she suspected Conduct Disorder which scared me but in the past year I've come around to think she was probably right.</p><p></p><p>Now it's not ALL bad. When she's on her medications she can be sweet, funny, affectionate--fun to be with. The problems kick in the minute she's told no and/or the medications wear off.</p><p></p><p>I was able to find her a school she LOVES. It's expensive and is going to go through her entire college fund but it's the only time since Kindergarten she hasn't fought everything about school. She used to get suspended regularay then she just stopped going (hence the truancy intervention program) and failed 8th grade outright. She's got a diagnosis Learning Disability (LD) (processing disorder) so I understand school is HARD for her but she did nothing to help herself. This new school caters to "kids like her" and any time she screws up the first thing she says when she comes to her senses is "I hope I didn't do something to make me not able to go back to school'</p><p></p><p>That alone is worth every penny of tuition. I think some of you have at least heard of XXX Academy? That's where she is.</p><p></p><p>Ok the latest blowup where she ended up being taken out of the house in handcuffs. What should have happened was that she should have been "Baker Acted" (involuntary committment for observation) but because she acts all subdued, they can't because she's not an "immenent danger" to herself or others. But if she does this again, and the police come again, I will tell them that I'm afraid to have her back in the house and they'll have to find someplace to put her. The only other way for her to be Baker Acted is for her doctor (lol) to recommend it or me to go to court and have it done that way. I have to go to court with her on the battery charge on Tuesday, that will be fun. Do I need my lawyer? Anyone know? I'm paying her a fortune to try to collect back child support right now.</p><p></p><p>Therapy--we've been in family counseling in one form or another since she's been about 3. She finds it an inconvenience. I find it a waste of money. She's had 2 therapists she's liked, one moved and the other worked for a public agency and got laid off. In all cases she "worked" with the counselor only to come home and announce how stupid it all is and not once even try to work on any of thier suggestions. I now have yet ANOTHER agency we're (yes we) required to go see as soon as I can get her an appointment.</p><p></p><p>This planning is new. Usually her outbursts are just that. Out of control outbursts. Sometimes after a really bad one, she'll say she doesn't even remember what she said or did. Actually I think she's forgotten all about this "181 things". She's been pretty civil the last couple of days. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>Another thing I want to ask about is her bedroom. It looks like something out of "how clean is your house". Kim and Aggie would have a field day. It's full of garbage (including food!) broken things, filthy clothes and it SMELLS! It is absolutely disgusting. When she went to live with DEX I shoveled it out, gave it a coat of paint and got new bedding etc and it took her practically no time at all to destroy it again. What do you guys who have this problem do about this?</p><p></p><p>I've rambled on, I think I've covered most of the questions. Thanks SO MUCH for being here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SJB, post: 297927"] Wow, thanks everyone. I'm going to try to work my way through some of your questions. Like most of you, I'm sure, I 'knew' there was something wrong with difficult child immediately. Someone mentioned the book [U]The Bipolar Child[/U]--if you want an accurate description of her as a baby, it's in that book. I could have written it myself. She was diagnosis ADHD around 2nd or 3rd grade and started taking adderall. We've tried just about everything out there and right now she's on Vyvanse (70mg) which works wonderfully--when she takes it. And when it hasn't worn off. Her psychiatric has tried to add other medications to this from time to time but she absolutely REFUSES to take ANYTHING else. She says we're trying to turn her into a drug addict. I know several of you mentioned the possibility of drug abuse--I doubt it, and she has had a couple of drug screenings through other youth programs she's ended up in and they've come back clean. her latest from her trip to Juvenile hasn't come back yet. Family history--I'm a single mom and have been under treatment for depressoin for years. There is some evidence of similar behaviour in DEXs family (but don't mention that to HIM! of course all difficult children problems are because I "just don't know how to handle her") About this time last year I got her an appointment with a behavioral pediatrician but just before she was set to go in for a full workup, she took off to live with her father. So much for that. Except it lasted from mid July to the end of October. It is almost impossible to get appts with this dr and they clearly state that if you miss an appointment you're done, so there. Well fortunately a friend of mine has managed to get someone in the office to agree to try again as long as I get a referral from her GP. I'm going to see him Monday and will do that then. This Dr told me she suspected Conduct Disorder which scared me but in the past year I've come around to think she was probably right. Now it's not ALL bad. When she's on her medications she can be sweet, funny, affectionate--fun to be with. The problems kick in the minute she's told no and/or the medications wear off. I was able to find her a school she LOVES. It's expensive and is going to go through her entire college fund but it's the only time since Kindergarten she hasn't fought everything about school. She used to get suspended regularay then she just stopped going (hence the truancy intervention program) and failed 8th grade outright. She's got a diagnosis Learning Disability (LD) (processing disorder) so I understand school is HARD for her but she did nothing to help herself. This new school caters to "kids like her" and any time she screws up the first thing she says when she comes to her senses is "I hope I didn't do something to make me not able to go back to school' That alone is worth every penny of tuition. I think some of you have at least heard of XXX Academy? That's where she is. Ok the latest blowup where she ended up being taken out of the house in handcuffs. What should have happened was that she should have been "Baker Acted" (involuntary committment for observation) but because she acts all subdued, they can't because she's not an "immenent danger" to herself or others. But if she does this again, and the police come again, I will tell them that I'm afraid to have her back in the house and they'll have to find someplace to put her. The only other way for her to be Baker Acted is for her doctor (lol) to recommend it or me to go to court and have it done that way. I have to go to court with her on the battery charge on Tuesday, that will be fun. Do I need my lawyer? Anyone know? I'm paying her a fortune to try to collect back child support right now. Therapy--we've been in family counseling in one form or another since she's been about 3. She finds it an inconvenience. I find it a waste of money. She's had 2 therapists she's liked, one moved and the other worked for a public agency and got laid off. In all cases she "worked" with the counselor only to come home and announce how stupid it all is and not once even try to work on any of thier suggestions. I now have yet ANOTHER agency we're (yes we) required to go see as soon as I can get her an appointment. This planning is new. Usually her outbursts are just that. Out of control outbursts. Sometimes after a really bad one, she'll say she doesn't even remember what she said or did. Actually I think she's forgotten all about this "181 things". She's been pretty civil the last couple of days. :knockedout: Another thing I want to ask about is her bedroom. It looks like something out of "how clean is your house". Kim and Aggie would have a field day. It's full of garbage (including food!) broken things, filthy clothes and it SMELLS! It is absolutely disgusting. When she went to live with DEX I shoveled it out, gave it a coat of paint and got new bedding etc and it took her practically no time at all to destroy it again. What do you guys who have this problem do about this? I've rambled on, I think I've covered most of the questions. Thanks SO MUCH for being here. [/QUOTE]
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