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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 254622" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Stands, I think you know my story so I will only go into it briefly. My son is out of jail for the third time. He has not been able to maintain his participation in court ordered programs while on parole so he has been violated twice. He could have been out of the system within 18 months of his first charge but has dragged it out for 3 years so far instead and he must maintain for another 8 months to be totally free of the judicial system. </p><p> </p><p>This is the first time he has been released and I have basically done nothing to help him. I have used certain opportunities to teach him that he must work for things, but other than that I have done nothing except love him. It is no longer hard for me to do this. And truth be told, this time he is doing the best he has done so far. I admit that I am often tempted to give him little gifts but I do not. I only give him encouragement and hugs. </p><p> </p><p>He has faltered but he gets back on track quickly. I refuse to lecture him even though there are time I really want to. I refuse to even listen to tales of his self induced stresses. I think for the first time I have totally removed myself from his chaos and only allow the good parts into my life. I have completely accepted who he is, what he is and what he can accomplish on his own. I admit that it is alot less than what I had hoped for him, but it is what he can achieve. I do now see him gaining some self pride and trying to become a better person. </p><p> </p><p>Best of all I have no guilt. I realize he could falter and fall at any time but I have learned that he needs to walk this path on his own. I will be his compass but not his crutch. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 254622, member: 2315"] Stands, I think you know my story so I will only go into it briefly. My son is out of jail for the third time. He has not been able to maintain his participation in court ordered programs while on parole so he has been violated twice. He could have been out of the system within 18 months of his first charge but has dragged it out for 3 years so far instead and he must maintain for another 8 months to be totally free of the judicial system. This is the first time he has been released and I have basically done nothing to help him. I have used certain opportunities to teach him that he must work for things, but other than that I have done nothing except love him. It is no longer hard for me to do this. And truth be told, this time he is doing the best he has done so far. I admit that I am often tempted to give him little gifts but I do not. I only give him encouragement and hugs. He has faltered but he gets back on track quickly. I refuse to lecture him even though there are time I really want to. I refuse to even listen to tales of his self induced stresses. I think for the first time I have totally removed myself from his chaos and only allow the good parts into my life. I have completely accepted who he is, what he is and what he can accomplish on his own. I admit that it is alot less than what I had hoped for him, but it is what he can achieve. I do now see him gaining some self pride and trying to become a better person. Best of all I have no guilt. I realize he could falter and fall at any time but I have learned that he needs to walk this path on his own. I will be his compass but not his crutch. -RM [/QUOTE]
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