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Parent Emeritus
Drama, oh drama! And I have no clue what has really happened, if much anything at all
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 568744" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Those calls are hard to get, aren't they? I admire the way you are handling all of this. I doubt many of us could watch our kids (easy child or difficult child) be in this situation and not worry or not want to be there emotionally on the phone when our child was upset. That is part of the whole "Mom" title, in my opinion. </p><p></p><p>It is great that he can see how those calls are hard for you, and that he is thinking about that. A true sign of maturity happening. One phrase that has often helped me through rough times with a kid is "Progress, not perfection." I think most of us can stand reminders of that, and it is esp true of the perfectionist difficult children among us!</p><p></p><p>The trust issues are troubling. Would he perhaps be able to use a guided meditation tape or progressive relaxation technique to help with the massage therapy? Trust is a hard issue for many people, and with difficult child's anxiety it is an even bigger hurdle. </p><p></p><p>When I went away to college I had severe migraines. I almost always called my parents when I had one. This was before imitrex existed and honestly? I often get to the point that I would prefer to be dead and it is a fear of mine that I will hurt or kill myself when I have one, thinking not of my life but of just making the pain stop. When I lived at home my mother would rub my head a certain way and that would help, but being hundreds of miles away at college, that was not an option. My folks began talking me through progressive relaxation exercises until I could fall asleep and it helped amazingly. I didn't have your difficult child's trust issues, but having you talk him through would likely allow him to learn the techniques or if maybe you could do this during a massage or two, it would help?</p><p></p><p>Just a thought. I hope that he stays with this team as it seems like a truly wonderful, supportive, nurturing environment in spite of all the stress.</p><p></p><p>As for the girlfriend? So many people think a large man cannot be abused, but society tells men to be careful, to never hit a woman, not to complain or 'whine', and this leaves them open to abuse, esp if the abuser is a female who is much smaller. I would likely give the head coach or mental coach or his psychiatrist the info that his girlfriend hits and scratches him when they argue. Drunk is no excuse for that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 568744, member: 1233"] Those calls are hard to get, aren't they? I admire the way you are handling all of this. I doubt many of us could watch our kids (easy child or difficult child) be in this situation and not worry or not want to be there emotionally on the phone when our child was upset. That is part of the whole "Mom" title, in my opinion. It is great that he can see how those calls are hard for you, and that he is thinking about that. A true sign of maturity happening. One phrase that has often helped me through rough times with a kid is "Progress, not perfection." I think most of us can stand reminders of that, and it is esp true of the perfectionist difficult children among us! The trust issues are troubling. Would he perhaps be able to use a guided meditation tape or progressive relaxation technique to help with the massage therapy? Trust is a hard issue for many people, and with difficult child's anxiety it is an even bigger hurdle. When I went away to college I had severe migraines. I almost always called my parents when I had one. This was before imitrex existed and honestly? I often get to the point that I would prefer to be dead and it is a fear of mine that I will hurt or kill myself when I have one, thinking not of my life but of just making the pain stop. When I lived at home my mother would rub my head a certain way and that would help, but being hundreds of miles away at college, that was not an option. My folks began talking me through progressive relaxation exercises until I could fall asleep and it helped amazingly. I didn't have your difficult child's trust issues, but having you talk him through would likely allow him to learn the techniques or if maybe you could do this during a massage or two, it would help? Just a thought. I hope that he stays with this team as it seems like a truly wonderful, supportive, nurturing environment in spite of all the stress. As for the girlfriend? So many people think a large man cannot be abused, but society tells men to be careful, to never hit a woman, not to complain or 'whine', and this leaves them open to abuse, esp if the abuser is a female who is much smaller. I would likely give the head coach or mental coach or his psychiatrist the info that his girlfriend hits and scratches him when they argue. Drunk is no excuse for that. [/QUOTE]
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Drama, oh drama! And I have no clue what has really happened, if much anything at all
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