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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 672323" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Sea you are making such good progress. I remember cleaning out my daughter's room and while it was sad it was also a cleansing exercise for me. I was also cleaning out all the bad memories and the smell of pot and cigarettes which permeated everything. I painted her room and washed the blinds and replaced the carpeting and it smelled good and looked cheery. Then I went on to her bathroom and threw out all the nail polishes and hair stuff and scrubbed the room til it shined.</p><p></p><p>I love that you found rehab places near you, that is a necessary step to have in place for when they are ready. I had not done that and spent hours on the phone crying and eventually made mistakes on places until we found the one that we were happy with. It's not good to try doing that in the middle of a crisis.</p><p></p><p>From what I can remember of your story your son is mainly smoking pot which then caused him to get into legal trouble, is that correct? That is exactly what my daughter was doing, and drinking up to a case of beer a night. When we first proposed rehab she said the same thing as your son did. See, they look at their friends who are doing the same thing and they think it's normal. My daughter kept saying she was not an addict, that she just liked to drink and smoke pot, everyone did it. She doesn't use pot anymore but she still drinks to excess. She lost many jobs because of her pot use, just never went to work or left in the middle of her shift. She was unmotivated and lazy. The drinking she seems to keep under control for now. I'm not happy with it and I do think it will get her into trouble someday. But she has a good job and is paying her own way and being responsible in many ways, and most important she is no longer living here.</p><p></p><p>Why am I telling you all this? I guess because I want to validate that when they are doing mind altering drugs they do not see themselves as needing help. It's us parents who are psychotic to them because everyone else around them thinks it's normal. Rehab did not cure my daughter. It did educate her that she was allowing substances to rule her life and that if she continued she would go on to harder drugs. She saw many of those in rehab with her die, and many others who turned their lives around so she knew it was possible.</p><p></p><p>Your son may not agree that he needs help until the legal trouble gets to the point where he must face it. You are wise to let him know you will be there to support him if and when he decides he wants help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 672323, member: 59"] Sea you are making such good progress. I remember cleaning out my daughter's room and while it was sad it was also a cleansing exercise for me. I was also cleaning out all the bad memories and the smell of pot and cigarettes which permeated everything. I painted her room and washed the blinds and replaced the carpeting and it smelled good and looked cheery. Then I went on to her bathroom and threw out all the nail polishes and hair stuff and scrubbed the room til it shined. I love that you found rehab places near you, that is a necessary step to have in place for when they are ready. I had not done that and spent hours on the phone crying and eventually made mistakes on places until we found the one that we were happy with. It's not good to try doing that in the middle of a crisis. From what I can remember of your story your son is mainly smoking pot which then caused him to get into legal trouble, is that correct? That is exactly what my daughter was doing, and drinking up to a case of beer a night. When we first proposed rehab she said the same thing as your son did. See, they look at their friends who are doing the same thing and they think it's normal. My daughter kept saying she was not an addict, that she just liked to drink and smoke pot, everyone did it. She doesn't use pot anymore but she still drinks to excess. She lost many jobs because of her pot use, just never went to work or left in the middle of her shift. She was unmotivated and lazy. The drinking she seems to keep under control for now. I'm not happy with it and I do think it will get her into trouble someday. But she has a good job and is paying her own way and being responsible in many ways, and most important she is no longer living here. Why am I telling you all this? I guess because I want to validate that when they are doing mind altering drugs they do not see themselves as needing help. It's us parents who are psychotic to them because everyone else around them thinks it's normal. Rehab did not cure my daughter. It did educate her that she was allowing substances to rule her life and that if she continued she would go on to harder drugs. She saw many of those in rehab with her die, and many others who turned their lives around so she knew it was possible. Your son may not agree that he needs help until the legal trouble gets to the point where he must face it. You are wise to let him know you will be there to support him if and when he decides he wants help. [/QUOTE]
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