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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 317894"><p>difficult child doesn't like going to church socials or events. </p><p>She hesitates to go to all social events, unless she is going with a good friend. </p><p>husband and I go to a nice church, but they don't have anything for people her age. They have a big gap for young people in their twenties. True, she would probably do well with those younger than herself. They do have a nice size group of middle school aged children (plus elementary aged children and a small group of high school students) However, not only does difficult child hesitate to go to these types of things, husband has HUGE issues with- difficult child attending our church, with the exception of holidays. </p><p></p><p>Years ago, I found one facility in my area that provided housing for the mentally ill and two in the next city. The ones in the next city, judging from my phone conversations, seemed better organized. They would not take her and difficult child balks big time at the idea of going to a place like this.</p><p></p><p>The idea of going to a facility more for the developmentally disabled seems like a better fit in actuality. </p><p></p><p>I am trying to piece it all in my mind. Fran, as you might recall, for years I have thought that your difficult child and mine sound eerily alike. She did get the diagnosis of Aspergers at one point, but both her therapist and psychiatrist did not agree. I purchased a book on the topic and was surprised at how close she fit the criteria. However, she also fits for bipolar. As she has gotten older and especially when she stays on her medication, her bipolar illness has improved. But there are still these other issues that are very difficult and confusing. We also have the added situation of abandonment issues...which is very common with all adopted children...even those who were adopted as infants. Her last therapist felt that difficult child was better than many children, but it is still there and in combination with all else she has going on Bipolar, ADHD, ASpergers, Brain Bleed...it is just a heck of a lot of baggage.</p><p></p><p>husband is going around saying "I am done." He has been so grouchy. I think this has really been getting to me. Of course it is much easier for me when I have a partner in all of this. </p><p></p><p>When I mention how he has been lately, he does better. He has a heart of gold. But then something comes over him and the grouchiness comes back. </p><p></p><p>I have been trying to listen to him and be supportive. It seems to be helping ever so slightly. I suggested that he might see a therapist...went over like a led balloon. I do hope he feels better soon....I am drained.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, I have been looking up things...haven't even found the old places...but I am sure I will.</p><p></p><p>I did find some sort of facility that provides education (in my city) and several others like it in the next city. It is amazing how little there is in my area...so much more in just one city over...but its not likely I can get access to it.</p><p></p><p>ETA</p><p></p><p>Important Question:</p><p></p><p>How do you get a caseworker without directly paying for it? I did try to get one by calling the disability office and they said she wasn't entitled to one.</p><p>She DID get a social worker (thru the disability office) who strictly helps provide employment services and since difficult children therapist said her disability is severe and she can only work part time, he is trying to find her a part time job. Additionally, I have paid with my own money for a private therapist for difficult child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 317894"] difficult child doesn't like going to church socials or events. She hesitates to go to all social events, unless she is going with a good friend. husband and I go to a nice church, but they don't have anything for people her age. They have a big gap for young people in their twenties. True, she would probably do well with those younger than herself. They do have a nice size group of middle school aged children (plus elementary aged children and a small group of high school students) However, not only does difficult child hesitate to go to these types of things, husband has HUGE issues with- difficult child attending our church, with the exception of holidays. Years ago, I found one facility in my area that provided housing for the mentally ill and two in the next city. The ones in the next city, judging from my phone conversations, seemed better organized. They would not take her and difficult child balks big time at the idea of going to a place like this. The idea of going to a facility more for the developmentally disabled seems like a better fit in actuality. I am trying to piece it all in my mind. Fran, as you might recall, for years I have thought that your difficult child and mine sound eerily alike. She did get the diagnosis of Aspergers at one point, but both her therapist and psychiatrist did not agree. I purchased a book on the topic and was surprised at how close she fit the criteria. However, she also fits for bipolar. As she has gotten older and especially when she stays on her medication, her bipolar illness has improved. But there are still these other issues that are very difficult and confusing. We also have the added situation of abandonment issues...which is very common with all adopted children...even those who were adopted as infants. Her last therapist felt that difficult child was better than many children, but it is still there and in combination with all else she has going on Bipolar, ADHD, ASpergers, Brain Bleed...it is just a heck of a lot of baggage. husband is going around saying "I am done." He has been so grouchy. I think this has really been getting to me. Of course it is much easier for me when I have a partner in all of this. When I mention how he has been lately, he does better. He has a heart of gold. But then something comes over him and the grouchiness comes back. I have been trying to listen to him and be supportive. It seems to be helping ever so slightly. I suggested that he might see a therapist...went over like a led balloon. I do hope he feels better soon....I am drained. In the meantime, I have been looking up things...haven't even found the old places...but I am sure I will. I did find some sort of facility that provides education (in my city) and several others like it in the next city. It is amazing how little there is in my area...so much more in just one city over...but its not likely I can get access to it. ETA Important Question: How do you get a caseworker without directly paying for it? I did try to get one by calling the disability office and they said she wasn't entitled to one. She DID get a social worker (thru the disability office) who strictly helps provide employment services and since difficult children therapist said her disability is severe and she can only work part time, he is trying to find her a part time job. Additionally, I have paid with my own money for a private therapist for difficult child. [/QUOTE]
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