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easy child broke down....
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 431295" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Well, honestly, I have to add...............I would <strong>not</strong> let her return home.</p><p></p><p>Why? Because of the total lack of respect and violence she's shown. I wouldn't let one of mine return after such behavior, regardless of the reason. Most likely even years down the road.</p><p></p><p>She's an adult. She wanted freedom. She got what she wanted. At this point she can choose to enjoy that freedom the right way or the wrong way. If she's serious in her apology.......and she is willing, you could help guide her onto her feet in the right direction, <strong>without</strong> allowing her to come home. People make mistakes, some bigger than others, some life changing. What she has to learn now? Is that it's what <strong>you do</strong> once you've reached the point where you realize you've messed up in a big way that counts. Fixing life mess ups can be some major work.......but that work is<strong> necessary</strong> for the<strong> lesson</strong> to<strong> take hold and stick</strong>. It's part of growing up. It is being an adult.</p><p></p><p>For me if circumstances came up and either easy child or Nichole needed to return home for a period of time.......I most likely wouldn't have much of an issue with it. Both left under good terms. Both were acting like responsible adults when they left home, and continue to do so now. I could let them come and know they would continue to act like adults, respect me and my home, and actively work to get back out on their own again asap. Katie, while she hasn't been violent or disrespectful, can't act like an adult outside the home........if I let her stay here she'd act like a 12 yr old like she did last time. I'd have a heck of a time ever getting her out again.</p><p></p><p>Due to past behavior on your daughter's part? You have little if any guarantee she won't fall back into old patterns of behavior if she should move home, which is the last thing either of you need. In honestly, if you let her come home odds are high that she would return to the old groove once a honeymoon phase wore off. She hasn't learned anything yet from these mistakes. The learning comes with the fixing which she has yet to do. And until she learns.......she will most likely repeat them.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, you have your hands full just dealing with your own stuff and family that are still at home stuff. Life happens the way it does for a reason.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 431295, member: 84"] Well, honestly, I have to add...............I would [B]not[/B] let her return home. Why? Because of the total lack of respect and violence she's shown. I wouldn't let one of mine return after such behavior, regardless of the reason. Most likely even years down the road. She's an adult. She wanted freedom. She got what she wanted. At this point she can choose to enjoy that freedom the right way or the wrong way. If she's serious in her apology.......and she is willing, you could help guide her onto her feet in the right direction, [B]without[/B] allowing her to come home. People make mistakes, some bigger than others, some life changing. What she has to learn now? Is that it's what [B]you do[/B] once you've reached the point where you realize you've messed up in a big way that counts. Fixing life mess ups can be some major work.......but that work is[B] necessary[/B] for the[B] lesson[/B] to[B] take hold and stick[/B]. It's part of growing up. It is being an adult. For me if circumstances came up and either easy child or Nichole needed to return home for a period of time.......I most likely wouldn't have much of an issue with it. Both left under good terms. Both were acting like responsible adults when they left home, and continue to do so now. I could let them come and know they would continue to act like adults, respect me and my home, and actively work to get back out on their own again asap. Katie, while she hasn't been violent or disrespectful, can't act like an adult outside the home........if I let her stay here she'd act like a 12 yr old like she did last time. I'd have a heck of a time ever getting her out again. Due to past behavior on your daughter's part? You have little if any guarantee she won't fall back into old patterns of behavior if she should move home, which is the last thing either of you need. In honestly, if you let her come home odds are high that she would return to the old groove once a honeymoon phase wore off. She hasn't learned anything yet from these mistakes. The learning comes with the fixing which she has yet to do. And until she learns.......she will most likely repeat them. In the meantime, you have your hands full just dealing with your own stuff and family that are still at home stuff. Life happens the way it does for a reason. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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