easy child/difficult child has

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Jun 10, 2010.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    us beyond frustrated. I should probably start referring to her as difficult child 2.

    She had a final she had to do which was in the form of a speech. She told us she had worked on it this weekend-told me this morning her topic and that she was ready to give it today. I asked her after school did she do her speech and she replied that yes she had. She has lied so much I wasn't sure I believed her.

    About 30 minutes ago we got a skip call for the period that the speech was to have been given-she skipped. husband asked her about it and she said that she had been there and given the speech.

    I went downstairs and told her if we found out after it was too late for make-ups then she would be grounded for tv for two months. She admitted she had lied and not done the research (she told husband last night that, of course, she had done the research).

    It's been an awful past 30 minutes with lots of yelling (I have remained calm-don't know how-but both husband-husband doesn't yell easily-and she have been yelling and even though I haven't been yelling I haven't been quiet).

    She says we shouldn't care it's her life, her grades, and if she doesn't care we shouldn't. This is her second try at this class-American History. We honestly can't figure out why she does these things-she is a smart girl. We offer our assistance, teachers have made mods even though she's not on any kind of IEP or 504.

    She says she doesn't care if she graduates-she is happy to go live in a hole-this from the girl who wants to work for NASA some day and the thing is-she would be great at it. I told her if she doesn't want to graduate then find a job and an apartment. I don't want this to happen but I honestly don't know if she will graduate this year.

    She is complaining that husband is never proud no matter what-nothing could be further from the truth-she has less than a 2.0 grade average. She skips class on a regular basis and has two study halls so she has time to get things done.

    All she seems to want to do is watch tv and sometimes read a book. Well she won't be watching any tv for a long while and husband said he is taking her to school tomorrow to have her do some research there-he is going to walk her in and she is not happy-will probably refuse to get up. The only reason the high school is open tomorrow is for make up exams and I am guessing she can't make up the speech but we want her to do the research and prepare one even if it's too late.

    I'm so upset/sad/etc...

    Any suggestions on how to get her to care (she truly doesn't respond to almost any consequences). She doesn't hardly ever socialize.

    She is going to go to an alternative high school next year that has only about 140 kids and everything is pass/no pass. I've heard great things about it and am praying this will help her.

    So much for being happy about the end of the school year!
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Sharon, major hugs going out to you.

    As you know, we took the extreme step of sending our teenage son to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in Utah because he was socially withdrawn, depressed and academically underachieving. Instead of through punishment, the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) has reached him through a combination of Ross Greene's Collaborative Problem Solving (from The Explosive Child), theories from the Love and Logic series and one-on-one relationship building through mentoring. While I'm not in any way suggesting that you send your daughter off to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), I do think a different approach is needed. Maybe the alternative school will make all the difference.

    I hope tomorrow is a better day.
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks SW-I agree a different approach is needed and I'm thinking/hoping the new school will be what she needs. It's sad and scary when she gets like this-tells us she wishes we wouldn't care about her, says she never asked us too.
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm crossing my fingers that the alternative high school provides an opportunity for her to turn things around. This is a really tough age. I don't know what else to suggest in terms of making her care but I pray something snaps in place soon.
  5. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Wish I had some good advice. I think the alternative school is a great plan. I'm praying it is exactly what your daughter needs to begin to turn her life around! Hugs, SFR