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easy child has "come out" and now I have some questions...
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<blockquote data-quote="LittleDudesMom" data-source="post: 171152" data-attributes="member: 805"><p>Tammy,</p><p> </p><p>good to hear from you again.</p><p> </p><p>I come from a family that definately brings the "genetic" factor of homosexuality to bear. My father had a son, my brother, who is gay. His older brother had a daughter, my cousin, who is a lesbian. His younger brother has a daughter, my cousin, who is also a lesbian. Three brothers in the family and each of them with a homosexual child. Genetics? Pretty good argument for it.</p><p> </p><p>As far as your daughter goes, my opinion is two-fold. First I have to think about all stress, drama, and trama that she grew up with. The boys really turned everyone's life upside down, numerous times. She could not have survived without some scars. Part of me says this is just teen rebellion or the discovery of comfort and acceptance by a new group of friends.</p><p> </p><p>Either way, I believe she doesn't need analyzation, or mom's bi stories, or the opinion of a lesbian woman who feels your marriage is the reason your daughter is gay. She needs to be treated exactly how she was before she told you. No deep discussions unless she instigates them.</p><p> </p><p>As far as your husband is concerned, he's dealing with a double whamy. He's dealing with his baby's sexuality and he's dealing with homosexuality.</p><p> </p><p>Most men don't react well to their daughter's development into a sexual being. It's not something they think about when they think of their "little girl". I think mother's deal better with both their daughter's and their son's sexual sides.</p><p> </p><p>So, not only is your husband faced with the fact that his daughter is sexually aware, but he's also dealing with her statement that she is gay.</p><p> </p><p>In regards to the sleep over, I must whole-heartedly agree with Fran. Your daughter is too young to be sexually active with a boy or a girl. She has just turned 16. She should not be allowed to go to a multi-sex sleepover any more than a sleepover with lesbians who are sexally active, especially if your daughter believes she is gay.</p><p> </p><p>I think this bowling trip may be a good thing for all. If there were anything to say to your husband, it would be, "honey, she's still our daughter and is the same child she was before she told us. We just need to love her and allow her the time and space to work this out on her own. The worse thing we can do right now is lecture, we just need to live and love as a familly."</p><p> </p><p>Tammy, you are not dealing with issues that don't happen every day all over the world. A loving and strong family will always find a way. </p><p> </p><p>Keep your eyes on your daughter and make sure she is making wise choices in all her relationships. Try your best to make sure that husband and your daughter don't engage in the sexual disussion right now. He needs time and she needs time.</p><p> </p><p>Ultimately, he is the adult and he is responsible for his relationship with his daugher. If he alienates her, he will have to deal with the consequences. It's way too early in this new development for any ultimatums or decisions.</p><p> </p><p>Just my two cents as a member of a family who has dealt with this issue multiple times.</p><p> </p><p>Sharon</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LittleDudesMom, post: 171152, member: 805"] Tammy, good to hear from you again. I come from a family that definately brings the "genetic" factor of homosexuality to bear. My father had a son, my brother, who is gay. His older brother had a daughter, my cousin, who is a lesbian. His younger brother has a daughter, my cousin, who is also a lesbian. Three brothers in the family and each of them with a homosexual child. Genetics? Pretty good argument for it. As far as your daughter goes, my opinion is two-fold. First I have to think about all stress, drama, and trama that she grew up with. The boys really turned everyone's life upside down, numerous times. She could not have survived without some scars. Part of me says this is just teen rebellion or the discovery of comfort and acceptance by a new group of friends. Either way, I believe she doesn't need analyzation, or mom's bi stories, or the opinion of a lesbian woman who feels your marriage is the reason your daughter is gay. She needs to be treated exactly how she was before she told you. No deep discussions unless she instigates them. As far as your husband is concerned, he's dealing with a double whamy. He's dealing with his baby's sexuality and he's dealing with homosexuality. Most men don't react well to their daughter's development into a sexual being. It's not something they think about when they think of their "little girl". I think mother's deal better with both their daughter's and their son's sexual sides. So, not only is your husband faced with the fact that his daughter is sexually aware, but he's also dealing with her statement that she is gay. In regards to the sleep over, I must whole-heartedly agree with Fran. Your daughter is too young to be sexually active with a boy or a girl. She has just turned 16. She should not be allowed to go to a multi-sex sleepover any more than a sleepover with lesbians who are sexally active, especially if your daughter believes she is gay. I think this bowling trip may be a good thing for all. If there were anything to say to your husband, it would be, "honey, she's still our daughter and is the same child she was before she told us. We just need to love her and allow her the time and space to work this out on her own. The worse thing we can do right now is lecture, we just need to live and love as a familly." Tammy, you are not dealing with issues that don't happen every day all over the world. A loving and strong family will always find a way. Keep your eyes on your daughter and make sure she is making wise choices in all her relationships. Try your best to make sure that husband and your daughter don't engage in the sexual disussion right now. He needs time and she needs time. Ultimately, he is the adult and he is responsible for his relationship with his daugher. If he alienates her, he will have to deal with the consequences. It's way too early in this new development for any ultimatums or decisions. Just my two cents as a member of a family who has dealt with this issue multiple times. Sharon [/QUOTE]
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easy child has "come out" and now I have some questions...
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