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easy child is refusing to come home
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 406869" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>steely i so often have pondered what id' be, where i'd be if my parents had given me just that growing up. if my mom had listened at 13 when i flipped out had really listened instead of being so overly reactive. yet she didnt', instead she popped me in a residential home for 4 mos. where a counselor there tried to rape me. sheesh i know lol. p.s. i got him fired and me outta there.</p><p> </p><p>point is i sit back so many times down and through my journey here and have had to look at my past the mistakes both my parents made and had to say the same. yet for me to become me again the most important piece i had to get ok with was that it didnt' matter what my dad did to me growing up, how my mom controlled me minimal hugs love support. what mattered was the person i am today the strength it has taught me the ability it has given me to love my children in a way my parents never could. in hindsight and this is sick i know lol they did me a favor in a sense. it if wasn't for their treatment of me i wouldn't be the person i am today. </p><p> </p><p>the person i am today is someone who can as you can handle a difficult child, fight the fights the battles, regain your sanity when it's most needed, the person who can hug easy child when i saw her and not yell at her or punish her further yet just go back to the basics that we didnt' have enough of that simple hey your my kid and it doesnt' matter i love you no matter what you do and i'm here.</p><p> </p><p>so that was the final peace for me. are there more things to muttle through? oh yea def. i hope i never stop growing and learning about me, yet accepting what my story is where i came from was a huge part of it. for years literally years i would get stuck on that picture in my mind of what should of been, that i got cheated i could of been the lawyer or doctor i wanted to be. yet life had something different for me and for you.</p><p> </p><p>your a great person and i appreciate the vote of confidence at a time in which it is greatly appreciated. i've waivered back and forth these past few mos. husband and i though have luckily found humor as of late something we were lacking for a very long time.</p><p> </p><p>funny story last night we sat and just talked for hours about easy child, difficult child, our life, what we deserve taking difficult child off front and center giving balance to our family somehow with him gone so often. than he said wow it's cold in here i said yea it is. he went to the basement and guess what? the oil tank was EMPTY. he also forgot to order an oil delivery when i was in portland. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> we just sat there laughing and freezing cold. he went and checked the kids to make sure they were covered. unreal........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 406869, member: 4514"] steely i so often have pondered what id' be, where i'd be if my parents had given me just that growing up. if my mom had listened at 13 when i flipped out had really listened instead of being so overly reactive. yet she didnt', instead she popped me in a residential home for 4 mos. where a counselor there tried to rape me. sheesh i know lol. p.s. i got him fired and me outta there. point is i sit back so many times down and through my journey here and have had to look at my past the mistakes both my parents made and had to say the same. yet for me to become me again the most important piece i had to get ok with was that it didnt' matter what my dad did to me growing up, how my mom controlled me minimal hugs love support. what mattered was the person i am today the strength it has taught me the ability it has given me to love my children in a way my parents never could. in hindsight and this is sick i know lol they did me a favor in a sense. it if wasn't for their treatment of me i wouldn't be the person i am today. the person i am today is someone who can as you can handle a difficult child, fight the fights the battles, regain your sanity when it's most needed, the person who can hug easy child when i saw her and not yell at her or punish her further yet just go back to the basics that we didnt' have enough of that simple hey your my kid and it doesnt' matter i love you no matter what you do and i'm here. so that was the final peace for me. are there more things to muttle through? oh yea def. i hope i never stop growing and learning about me, yet accepting what my story is where i came from was a huge part of it. for years literally years i would get stuck on that picture in my mind of what should of been, that i got cheated i could of been the lawyer or doctor i wanted to be. yet life had something different for me and for you. your a great person and i appreciate the vote of confidence at a time in which it is greatly appreciated. i've waivered back and forth these past few mos. husband and i though have luckily found humor as of late something we were lacking for a very long time. funny story last night we sat and just talked for hours about easy child, difficult child, our life, what we deserve taking difficult child off front and center giving balance to our family somehow with him gone so often. than he said wow it's cold in here i said yea it is. he went to the basement and guess what? the oil tank was EMPTY. he also forgot to order an oil delivery when i was in portland. :) we just sat there laughing and freezing cold. he went and checked the kids to make sure they were covered. unreal........ [/QUOTE]
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