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easy child or difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 120804" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>It really is common for adopted children to be so needy. Mine needs attention 25/7 (and, no, that's not a typo). It used to be more like 48/7 but she has grown up a little. Overeating is common. I found that having healthy snacks out at all times helped. There was no limit on carrots, apples, bananas, grapes. She even had her own at-home lunchbox that she could fill with what she wanted. I just made sure there were no sweet treats available. I did have a rule at mealtime -- I would either fill her plate or let her fill it, no seconds. She could, of course, have her munchies after a meal.</p><p> </p><p>Sadly, girls like yours really do better in a single-child home. Their need is real, they have no control over it. It is hard to get enough attention when parents have to deal with several children all needing help. The best you can do is acknowledge she needs the attention but so do the other kids. You could try setting aside 30 minutes or so every day for just her. Make it at the same time every day and it can only be broken due to illness or emergency.</p><p> </p><p>Your little ones have a lot of issues. When you add drug and alcohol in vitro into the mix, it makes things even more difficult. If there's Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), it gets even worse since there is real brain damage. Sadly, there are no easy answers. You truly have my sympathy.</p><p> </p><p>If you haven't read it, please read Adopting the Hurt Child by Keck. It gave me a wealth information in dealing with my daughter. </p><p> </p><p>by the way -- It is okay to not like her at times. Personally, I think it comes with the territory. Our kids are not always likeable. Just remember that it is her behavior you are not liking, not actually her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 120804, member: 3626"] It really is common for adopted children to be so needy. Mine needs attention 25/7 (and, no, that's not a typo). It used to be more like 48/7 but she has grown up a little. Overeating is common. I found that having healthy snacks out at all times helped. There was no limit on carrots, apples, bananas, grapes. She even had her own at-home lunchbox that she could fill with what she wanted. I just made sure there were no sweet treats available. I did have a rule at mealtime -- I would either fill her plate or let her fill it, no seconds. She could, of course, have her munchies after a meal. Sadly, girls like yours really do better in a single-child home. Their need is real, they have no control over it. It is hard to get enough attention when parents have to deal with several children all needing help. The best you can do is acknowledge she needs the attention but so do the other kids. You could try setting aside 30 minutes or so every day for just her. Make it at the same time every day and it can only be broken due to illness or emergency. Your little ones have a lot of issues. When you add drug and alcohol in vitro into the mix, it makes things even more difficult. If there's Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS), it gets even worse since there is real brain damage. Sadly, there are no easy answers. You truly have my sympathy. If you haven't read it, please read Adopting the Hurt Child by Keck. It gave me a wealth information in dealing with my daughter. by the way -- It is okay to not like her at times. Personally, I think it comes with the territory. Our kids are not always likeable. Just remember that it is her behavior you are not liking, not actually her. [/QUOTE]
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