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easy child update.........fun never ends :) cutting school
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<blockquote data-quote="eekysign" data-source="post: 224377" data-attributes="member: 6479"><p>Jenn, hon, I can't reconcile these statements. You really sound as though you are blaming this boy as the reason all of this is happening, but then you say that you blame your daughter for making bad choices. You "dealt" with this boy over some hickies? She's your daughter, she's responsible for the shape she comes home in, not him! And that is most definitely a lesson she needs to understand----"YOU are responsible for your own body when it comes to boys and sex!!!" </p><p></p><p>It was pretty impressive that he actually owned up to it and apologized. But it's not shocking that they were at it again two weeks later....again, they're horny teens! He's "asking" your daughter to "perform sex acts"? Whether it's healthy or not for her to be sexually active at ALL, she's not a streetwalker, which is what you're kinda making her sound like. And you make him sound like her "john". She's not "performing sex acts", for goodness sake, she's messing around with her boyfriend. HE'S not asking, THEY'RE doing it. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> </p><p></p><p>Sigh. Teens are so frustrating. But despite what you've read, not every teen is out there giving head because they have no self-respect. At 15 or 16, that was a STANDARD part of the high school "sex learning curve", even a decade ago, when I was growing up. I don't know a SINGLE girl I have been friends with over the years that hadn't done that by 17. And not one of my friends had any "self-respect" issues. That's just my experience, but I've never met any adult women who regret any sexual activity from their youth, other than a few that regret how their "first time" happened.</p><p></p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> For your daughter, combined with her other behaviors, it just sounds like you've got out-and-out rebellion on your hands. Reading through this thread, it sounds like this little issue over the weekend is REALLY the LEAST of your problems. I would be far more worried about the drinking, the failing, the skipping, etc----that's NOT normal 15 y/o behavior. Messing around with the boyfriend IS normal (still needs to be addressed, but it's certainly normal!!). </p><p></p><p>It seems like sexual behavior upsets you <strong><em>far</em></strong> more than substance abuse and the failure of her education....which seems a little odd. You've known about those other problems for a while, but she was still your "easy child" until the boyfriend issue happened. Why are you SO upset over this issue, but were not as concerned by the other serious problems on her plate, until now? You didn't try to strip her room when she started getting failing grades? You didn't try to get her into therapy to address why she's drinking massively? But you want to do all these things because she went a little too far with the boyfriend? I just don't understand, hon! Help me out here. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Again, not judging or anything, just playing Devil's Advocate. Like some of the other ladies have said, it seems like you identify very strongly with your easy child. Is that why the sex thing was the straw that broke the camel's back, not all the myriad other problems?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="eekysign, post: 224377, member: 6479"] Jenn, hon, I can't reconcile these statements. You really sound as though you are blaming this boy as the reason all of this is happening, but then you say that you blame your daughter for making bad choices. You "dealt" with this boy over some hickies? She's your daughter, she's responsible for the shape she comes home in, not him! And that is most definitely a lesson she needs to understand----"YOU are responsible for your own body when it comes to boys and sex!!!" It was pretty impressive that he actually owned up to it and apologized. But it's not shocking that they were at it again two weeks later....again, they're horny teens! He's "asking" your daughter to "perform sex acts"? Whether it's healthy or not for her to be sexually active at ALL, she's not a streetwalker, which is what you're kinda making her sound like. And you make him sound like her "john". She's not "performing sex acts", for goodness sake, she's messing around with her boyfriend. HE'S not asking, THEY'RE doing it. :frowny: Sigh. Teens are so frustrating. But despite what you've read, not every teen is out there giving head because they have no self-respect. At 15 or 16, that was a STANDARD part of the high school "sex learning curve", even a decade ago, when I was growing up. I don't know a SINGLE girl I have been friends with over the years that hadn't done that by 17. And not one of my friends had any "self-respect" issues. That's just my experience, but I've never met any adult women who regret any sexual activity from their youth, other than a few that regret how their "first time" happened. :( For your daughter, combined with her other behaviors, it just sounds like you've got out-and-out rebellion on your hands. Reading through this thread, it sounds like this little issue over the weekend is REALLY the LEAST of your problems. I would be far more worried about the drinking, the failing, the skipping, etc----that's NOT normal 15 y/o behavior. Messing around with the boyfriend IS normal (still needs to be addressed, but it's certainly normal!!). It seems like sexual behavior upsets you [B][I]far[/I][/B] more than substance abuse and the failure of her education....which seems a little odd. You've known about those other problems for a while, but she was still your "easy child" until the boyfriend issue happened. Why are you SO upset over this issue, but were not as concerned by the other serious problems on her plate, until now? You didn't try to strip her room when she started getting failing grades? You didn't try to get her into therapy to address why she's drinking massively? But you want to do all these things because she went a little too far with the boyfriend? I just don't understand, hon! Help me out here. :) Again, not judging or anything, just playing Devil's Advocate. Like some of the other ladies have said, it seems like you identify very strongly with your easy child. Is that why the sex thing was the straw that broke the camel's back, not all the myriad other problems? [/QUOTE]
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