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The Watercooler
easy child, very worried,school refusal
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 206983" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">Oh {{{Sharon}}}, I hated this stuff more than anything else at 15 and those HS years. Yuck. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">There were times when I allowed either easy child or difficult child to have a 'mental health' day, but only if we [or they] did something constructive and uplifting. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">Refusal to go to school did not qualify. They had to be in more of a communicative mindset for me to consider allowing them to stay home. Say of, for instance, your easy child came to you and said "Mom, I don't want to go to school. I can handle this stuff, but I just need a day to breath, etc" then I would consider the mental health day option. </span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">But throwing a hissy fit, screaming and yelling mean things cancels that option out.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">I think that 15 year old girls are by far the worst with this kind of stuff. It's great that she's talking to the school counselor. It's great that she feels safe enough to tell you to butt out and leave her alone (and personally I didn't care so much when/if my girls said they hated me - it hurt, but I tried to let it roll off because I know it's not true). But the other stuff - getting in your way and closing the laptop, threatening...that doesn't fly well at all and that part of it should be addressed first and foremost. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">Try to let the insults roll off - they are unimportant right now. She is feeling overwhelmed and, like a typical 15 year old girl, is lashing out at those closest to her (you). She may need to work this stuff out on her own with the help of her counselor alone. All you can do sometimes is just reiterate what the rules are at home about disrespect and intolerable behavior and skipping school. And remind her that if she wants to (or when she's ready to), you are there to listen.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">Hugs - I know how much this hurts you.</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 206983, member: 2211"] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]Oh {{{Sharon}}}, I hated this stuff more than anything else at 15 and those HS years. Yuck. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]There were times when I allowed either easy child or difficult child to have a 'mental health' day, but only if we [or they] did something constructive and uplifting. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]Refusal to go to school did not qualify. They had to be in more of a communicative mindset for me to consider allowing them to stay home. Say of, for instance, your easy child came to you and said "Mom, I don't want to go to school. I can handle this stuff, but I just need a day to breath, etc" then I would consider the mental health day option. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]But throwing a hissy fit, screaming and yelling mean things cancels that option out.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]I think that 15 year old girls are by far the worst with this kind of stuff. It's great that she's talking to the school counselor. It's great that she feels safe enough to tell you to butt out and leave her alone (and personally I didn't care so much when/if my girls said they hated me - it hurt, but I tried to let it roll off because I know it's not true). But the other stuff - getting in your way and closing the laptop, threatening...that doesn't fly well at all and that part of it should be addressed first and foremost. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]Try to let the insults roll off - they are unimportant right now. She is feeling overwhelmed and, like a typical 15 year old girl, is lashing out at those closest to her (you). She may need to work this stuff out on her own with the help of her counselor alone. All you can do sometimes is just reiterate what the rules are at home about disrespect and intolerable behavior and skipping school. And remind her that if she wants to (or when she's ready to), you are there to listen.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Georgia][SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]Hugs - I know how much this hurts you.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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