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The Watercooler
easy child, very worried,school refusal
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 207094" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>Sharon</p><p></p><p>Hi, i'm sorry your back still hurts and that your daughter's words hurt as well. This is one area unfortunately i am well versed in and may actually be able to offer help.</p><p></p><p>I have been dealing with the same exact behavior from my almost 16 year old for the past mos. once again. She has gone so far as to tell me what a piece of work i am as a mother, that she can't stand me i sicken her, etc. etc.</p><p></p><p>Let it roll off your shoulders. Do not threaten with 911, i think that is what they want to escalate the situation, or at least mine does. Talking to the school to get an idea to what's going on was a great idea on your part.</p><p></p><p>I do not allow my daughter to take any days off from school unless she is sick, fever, vomitting, sick proof sick that I can see visibly. One day leads to two leads them to avoiding whatever situation it is that they are in. Which is never a good thing.</p><p></p><p>15 is a hard hard age. They are mixed with so many emotions regarding so many things, yet at the same time they are trying to assert their independence from us their mom's who love and adore them greatly.</p><p></p><p>The only thing that I have done, with the help of people at her school. Is I make strict rules, I punish when necessary being disrespectful and name calling and hurting you is disrespectful to you. She has to learn to voice her opinions and thoughts in a positive way towards you which will than bring about a conversation that will have the chance at resolving the issue at hand, whatever it may be. Don't engage. It's so hard not to, yet don't. I fight that everyday with mine, about 5 min. ago actually.</p><p></p><p>My daughter has stood and screamed at me in my face, told me horrible things as of late. She got grounded last weekend, didn't get to go to a halloween party.</p><p></p><p>I used to be too laxed, was so concerned about her feelings while she would yell and hurt me. Than my skin toughened and i learned that regardless of how she feels their approaching an age at which they need to learn conflict resolution and expressing their emotions in a healthy and non harming way.</p><p></p><p>ok sorry i rambled yet when i read your post saw how you felt i felt that pain before way too many times. </p><p></p><p>In closing I would say regarding school give her a strict punishment if she gives you a difficult time with going, as well as the school taking measures on their part that she has an official "cut". </p><p></p><p>It's taken me far too many attempts at getting this raising a teenager thing down pat so i wanted to share with you that i too experience this way too often and that it's only us with whom will be able to make them own up and speak to us with respect.</p><p></p><p>good luck, happy birthday to husband, hope tomorrow's better. and hope i didnt run on bad, i'm running out to get difficult child from school <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 207094, member: 4514"] Sharon Hi, i'm sorry your back still hurts and that your daughter's words hurt as well. This is one area unfortunately i am well versed in and may actually be able to offer help. I have been dealing with the same exact behavior from my almost 16 year old for the past mos. once again. She has gone so far as to tell me what a piece of work i am as a mother, that she can't stand me i sicken her, etc. etc. Let it roll off your shoulders. Do not threaten with 911, i think that is what they want to escalate the situation, or at least mine does. Talking to the school to get an idea to what's going on was a great idea on your part. I do not allow my daughter to take any days off from school unless she is sick, fever, vomitting, sick proof sick that I can see visibly. One day leads to two leads them to avoiding whatever situation it is that they are in. Which is never a good thing. 15 is a hard hard age. They are mixed with so many emotions regarding so many things, yet at the same time they are trying to assert their independence from us their mom's who love and adore them greatly. The only thing that I have done, with the help of people at her school. Is I make strict rules, I punish when necessary being disrespectful and name calling and hurting you is disrespectful to you. She has to learn to voice her opinions and thoughts in a positive way towards you which will than bring about a conversation that will have the chance at resolving the issue at hand, whatever it may be. Don't engage. It's so hard not to, yet don't. I fight that everyday with mine, about 5 min. ago actually. My daughter has stood and screamed at me in my face, told me horrible things as of late. She got grounded last weekend, didn't get to go to a halloween party. I used to be too laxed, was so concerned about her feelings while she would yell and hurt me. Than my skin toughened and i learned that regardless of how she feels their approaching an age at which they need to learn conflict resolution and expressing their emotions in a healthy and non harming way. ok sorry i rambled yet when i read your post saw how you felt i felt that pain before way too many times. In closing I would say regarding school give her a strict punishment if she gives you a difficult time with going, as well as the school taking measures on their part that she has an official "cut". It's taken me far too many attempts at getting this raising a teenager thing down pat so i wanted to share with you that i too experience this way too often and that it's only us with whom will be able to make them own up and speak to us with respect. good luck, happy birthday to husband, hope tomorrow's better. and hope i didnt run on bad, i'm running out to get difficult child from school :) [/QUOTE]
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