easy child wants a gun!

[lovemysons]

And I am a nervous WRECK about it!!!

husband wants to buy easy child a gun for her Birthday. I cannot even begin to tell you how nervous this makes me.
husband thinks I want to take easy child's second ammendment right away from her...he says ask her why she wants a gun...so I did.

I texted easy child today and said,
"Okay so...Please give me a list of reasons you should have a gun???

She says,
"Safety"

I said,
"More reasons...safety from what? Who?"

She says,
"Anyone. I don't need a better reason."

Uhg...and then I tell husband my reasons..."That she has two volitile brothers at times and a mom who has had a Psychotic breakdown in the past." He says, "Okay, so that's 3 reasons she SHOULD have a gun!" (roll eyes)

It just scares me so much.
But then again...I guess there's nothing I can do about it as she turns 21 May 10th. husband said she can buy a gun herself!

Just venting my nervous energy.
I don't like guns.

LMS

 

[AmericanGirl]

LMS,

I'm with you. Not a gun fan. Especially not with difficult children around.

Why not a taser? Mace? Pepper spray?

 

[BusynMember]

Tell H to buy her one when she moves out. With so many mentally ill people around, I'd put my foot down.

 

[AnnieO]

I am pro guns but I think he would be smarter to buy her lessons. How to use, clean, care for... And SAFETY! She can buy her own firearm.

 

[susiestar]

Your easy child knows herself very well. She is very grounded, and very stable. I would insist on safety precautions esp a gun safe and trigger lock and safety lessons. If she is living with you or her brothers, I would insist that she not have a gun on the premises. Living on her own? It is her choice and you need to respect that.

Don't make this an issue between the 2 of you. Let her know that you don't want on in your home because you don't trust yourself or your sons. Let her know that you respect her and know she has thought this through and will take all safety precautions. Then let it be.

This is one of those things that you ahve no control over. If you make it a big deal, the ONLY result will be that it creates a wedge between you and easy child. It isn't worth that.

 

[lovemysons]

Susie, You are so right...a wise woman I might add.
This is a devisive issue in my house.

Well, I texted easy child again with the "mace/pepper spray" suggestion, also noted the mentally ill people in her family...and here is what she said,

"I don't care. It'll be on me at all times. I work at 2 gas stations, one that is really ghetto and a homeless man chills inside all day. A gun is only a problem for the insane if the sane don't store it correctly. I'm getting a gun. That's not the only reason...The Final reason is because the government is trying to take guns away and one day it'll be okay in the governments eyes to walk into my house and take it over. That's one reason I'm getting out of this country And a reason for a gun. Someone would have to kill me to take my home and I'm not goin down without a fight. If I don't have a gun, what would I do? Get a giant metal sheild? A bullet proof jacket? What if I get shot in the head? Just because I couldn't shoot them first. I want my gun ASAP. "

by the way, husband does plan on a trigger lock, lessons, and a gun safe.

It still makes me nervous. I sure hope young difficult child does not find out that she is getting a gun for her birthday. He has made several near suicide attempts in the past.

Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions.
I know easy child is a fiercely independent young woman and she is living alone (off campus) with her cat in another state.
I guess if she is responsible enough to do all of that and work while going to school, bowling, training, homework etc on her own I should be respectful of her "other rights" as well. I just feel like things can go wrong when a gun is around.

LMS

 

[BusynMember]

If she lives alone, that is her decision. I don't like guns and hope none of my kids care to have one. So far they haven't. but if they do, in their own homes, it's their decision.

In my home? I have mental illness and have been suicidal. No. Not here. And respect me. No guns in my house, even if it's normally on your body. Keep it in the car. I think you have to use common sense.

 

[DDD]

Yikes! Sorry, Tammy, but I don't think you have a choice EXCEPT to make sure she understands that her firearm CAN NOT be on or near your property. Her text sounds "a little wiggy" to me but she has always been loving, bright and loyal to you so I am hoping she doesn't balk at the restrictions. Hugs. DDD

 

[lovemysons]

LOL DDD...what is "wiggy"? When I read her text, It sounded alittle "Paranoid" to me...Ya think?
But then again, husband is major pro gun's and I'm sure his influence has made an impact on her thinking.

She is very loving and bright as you say, DDD...Hopefully she will get alot out of a gun safety course and be a very responsible gun owner. by the way, husband tells me that it takes LESS TIME to take the gun safety course for conceal and carry than it does to take a defensive driving course...Yikes!!!

LMS

 

[Nancy]

Where does she live? If it's in your home you have a big say in what you will allow in your home. I would NEVER have a gun in my home ever. Her reasons scare me. I am sick and tired of everyone complaining about our country. Why don't they go live somewhere else if our government is so bad. It's interesting that when something bad happens everyone wants their governemnt to jump in and help but any other time they're bad.

Of my soapbox. I don't mean to be disrespectful to you or your easy child LMS, I am just so sick of all this talk about how awful our government is.

 

[AnnieO]

Honestly, her reasons make me extremely nervous. I don't see a really good one in there. Fact is, if she doesn't get off an accurate shot in a split second, she now has something that a criminal can use against her.

There is something called eminent domain - and her having a weapon isn't going to stop it. Plus, just the facts here, you can't just carry a firearm everywhere.

I am really hoping for a change of heart for her.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I have family members who are big on hunting.
We have friends who are current or past police officers.

And they both say the same thing.

A gun for protection... mostly works when the "enemy" isn't a person.
Being charged by a bear or a moose? A gun can provide protection.
Back yard invaded by a rabid dog... or skunk, etc.... yes, a gun can help.

But... Those on the wrong side of the law already know they are doing so, and will shoot first and ask questions later.
Because we do NOT know exactly who we are dealing with... we can't make the assumptions the "bad guys" make.

 

[BusynMember]

Wow, Nancy. I couldn't agree more.

 

[lovemysons]

Nancy,
I don't have a problem with you venting your frustrations.
I want to say that while my easy child is bright...I don't necessarily agree with all of her reasoning either.

I think she is concerned that her right to own a gun could be taken away from her.
I try and stay out of politics as much as possible these days...though I will say that I don't think the "good guys" are ALL good all the time. There are bad cops just as there are bad teachers...or bad parents.
But I am a mentally ill person who has literally Lost my mind before...hallucinations of every kind and VERY delusional. In my psychotic breakdown 6 yrs ago, I even at one point, tried to grab a police officer's gun and shoot myself as I "believed" husband was taking me to the edge of town to bury me...I had jumped out of our vehicle and husband called 911 and the police came to the scene. Many events had proceeded the final one where the police took me forcibally to the hospital. Had I known where a gun could be found on that day...I would have surely used it against myself or God forbid against someone else. So I am definitely against the mentally ill having any access to guns!

In any event...I am still concerned but it is her right and she is living in another state. It is also my latest understanding that she will NOT be coming home for the summer to live with us...so that is a plus.

I know she is a single woman living alone in another state...I know safety has got to be on her mind at all times.
LMS

 

[AmericanGirl]

Nancy, I'm with you. I'm sick of seeing all the vile comments in FB. Many just aren't true.

makes you wonder about the insane power of group think. Some people I once thought were bright are falling into the trap.

 

[Kathy813]

Nancy, I'm with you. I'm sick of seeing all the vile comments in FB. Many just aren't true.

That is one of the many reasons that I don't have a Facebook account. easy child told me about the comments that she was saw after the president was re-elected and it made me sick to hear the racist comments and the hatred toward our president because of the color of his skin.

As far as your daughter's desire for a gun . . . there is nothing that you can do about that except tell her that she cannot bring the gun into your house when she comes to visit. The sad part is that I doubt the gun will help her if she really does face a bad guy with a gun (God forbid). There is a great video that was made showing an experiment where college students where given guns and training on how to shoot. They were told a pretend gunman would burst into one of their college classes and their job was to "take out" the gunman.

The gunman burst in earlier than they were expecting. None of the four college students (this was done in four different classes) was able to shoot the gunman before they were "shot." In one case, the boy couldn't even get the gun out of his waistband because it got caught up in his t-shirt as he was struggling to get the gun out. This boy had previous experience with guns and hunting. Ironically, the girl with no prior experience with guns at all did the best of the four because she did manage to shoot the gunman in the leg before she was "killed."

The point of the documentary was that to have the necessary reaction time in a hostile situation takes continual training. One of the SWAT team officers said that if he even lays off training for a month he loses that reaction time.

~Kathy

 

[DammitJanet]

I can actually understand her wanting a gun if she is working in gas stations. I worked in two and was robbed twice. Not a fun experience.

As everyone knows, I am not anti-gun. I am anti-assault weapons though. I dont see the need to a handgun in my family though Tony is thinking of getting one possibly because that is the next step in hunting. Evidently when you get good enough with rifles and long guns, to make it even more sporting you go to a handgun. Im not sure I want one around. I dont mind a boatload of long guns but handguns make me a bit more iffy. I have to admit that myself. Personally I can take out anyone walking in my front door without even having to aim with a shotgun. I dont even have to aim. Point and shoot. In essence you are shooting about 13 .22 caliber bullets at someone. (or something) That does depend on the shotgun shell type though. That is the biggest one.

 

[busywend]

Sigh.....

Wasn't your easy child unstable in the recent past? Depression? Cutting? Plus your break happened later in life....hers can, too.

 

[lovemysons]

Kathy, that IS an interesting experiment. Another reason I am so against easy child getting a gun...don't want her to accidentally get hurt!

Busywend, No, easy child has never cut herself or been pron to any kind of deep depression, however, she has lost weight this year and I was concerned about her getting too skinny recently. But all seems okay.

Thanks you all for your insights and suggestions.
Love,
LMS