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easy child's moving on sat.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 419813" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm cautious;y supportive here. The big red flag is that she won't divulge who she is staying with. BIG red flag, because she wants to come visit for dinner, she wants you to keep paying for therapy, so she is openly admitting you are her parent and are responsible for these things. But you SHOULD at least know who she is with so you can liaise in practical matters - collect her for therapy if you are driving past, for example. Drop in her laundry. What reason does she give for not telling you where she is staying? If she is leaving with your support, there should be no reason for secrecy. But you are still legally responsible for her welfare - if she has moved in with Bonnie & Clyde, for example, and you allowed it - where do you stand for the next few weeks?</p><p></p><p>When I moved out of home (I was 17) I had my parents' support (cautiously) and they knew where I was, had the phone numbers, drove me there with my stuff, and we arranged for me to ring my dad once a week and come home to visit every weekend. Two years later my parents moved 800 km away with no phone, and support was more difficult especially when I needed major surgery. And I was a easy child (although beginning to really clash badly with my over-protective mother). But always, as far s possible, we knew where each other were (a rule - I had to know where they were, they had to know where I was) and there were fallbacks. I had a sister I could go stay with if I needed. The following year when I was 18 I had to move digs. I'm glad my parents never saw the place I moved into - they would have pulled me out of there, I am sure, if they had known. I should have got out of there much sooner - I put up with it for six months, it was really, really nasty. A crime-ridden, sex-ridden filthy pest-infested, disease-ridden drug-soaked boarding house for the dregs of society. I started to write a book about it but it sounded too unbelievable. </p><p></p><p>You should know where she is and you should always be able to get in touch with her. It also goes the other way - if you need to be away from home for any time, you need to let her know where you are going, how you can be contacted and when you expect to be back. These are common courtesy things and not age-related. it is not "So you still treat me like a child!" stuff, it is simply family ensuring that they stay in touch, every way around.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 419813, member: 1991"] I'm cautious;y supportive here. The big red flag is that she won't divulge who she is staying with. BIG red flag, because she wants to come visit for dinner, she wants you to keep paying for therapy, so she is openly admitting you are her parent and are responsible for these things. But you SHOULD at least know who she is with so you can liaise in practical matters - collect her for therapy if you are driving past, for example. Drop in her laundry. What reason does she give for not telling you where she is staying? If she is leaving with your support, there should be no reason for secrecy. But you are still legally responsible for her welfare - if she has moved in with Bonnie & Clyde, for example, and you allowed it - where do you stand for the next few weeks? When I moved out of home (I was 17) I had my parents' support (cautiously) and they knew where I was, had the phone numbers, drove me there with my stuff, and we arranged for me to ring my dad once a week and come home to visit every weekend. Two years later my parents moved 800 km away with no phone, and support was more difficult especially when I needed major surgery. And I was a easy child (although beginning to really clash badly with my over-protective mother). But always, as far s possible, we knew where each other were (a rule - I had to know where they were, they had to know where I was) and there were fallbacks. I had a sister I could go stay with if I needed. The following year when I was 18 I had to move digs. I'm glad my parents never saw the place I moved into - they would have pulled me out of there, I am sure, if they had known. I should have got out of there much sooner - I put up with it for six months, it was really, really nasty. A crime-ridden, sex-ridden filthy pest-infested, disease-ridden drug-soaked boarding house for the dregs of society. I started to write a book about it but it sounded too unbelievable. You should know where she is and you should always be able to get in touch with her. It also goes the other way - if you need to be away from home for any time, you need to let her know where you are going, how you can be contacted and when you expect to be back. These are common courtesy things and not age-related. it is not "So you still treat me like a child!" stuff, it is simply family ensuring that they stay in touch, every way around. Marg [/QUOTE]
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