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easy child's moving on sat.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 419862" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Jena, I want to make it clear, my comment about the window was not meant as criticism. Just to point out how you need to always be one step ahead of a single-minded difficult child especially when our minds and thoughts are fragmented.</p><p></p><p>klmno is making a similar point - think. Plan. Consider all possibilities, especially the worst. Then put in place as much as you can, prepare yourself as best you can, because sure as eggs, this won't go smoothly. Things are not adding up from some perspectives. If it turns out she does have a good exit plan, then fine. But why is she waiting? What is the delay? Why has she not already moved out? What is the obstacle for her? Then the flip side - what if she is not ready, or her place is not ready, by the deadline? What will you do then? What can you do then?</p><p></p><p>I am concerned that you may have already painted yourself into a corner - "follow the rules or leave." It's too open-ended. How will you successfully make her leave? If you had, say, a shelter already lined up for her, that would be a valid alternative. What if she goes to the police and says, "My mother is refusing to let me stay, even though I am under age."? You said you checked with the police that what you are doing is OK. Have you got their response in writing? Is there any way that you can CYA if whoever said that what you're doing is okay, chooses to deny it afterwards?</p><p></p><p>It's the planning ahead that is so vital, but also so tiring. When a difficult kid has you on the ropes, you're rolling with the punches, you're reacting only. It's difficult to be proactive when things are tough.</p><p></p><p>Personally, I hadn't considered the option that she wasn't telling you where she was staying because she doesn't yet know herself. So even there, I would have failed in the fully proactive mode. That's why all the heads on this site are better than just one.</p><p></p><p>Do let us know how this pans out. If she feels you have second-guessed her, feel free to snigger behind your inscrutable Mom mask.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 419862, member: 1991"] Jena, I want to make it clear, my comment about the window was not meant as criticism. Just to point out how you need to always be one step ahead of a single-minded difficult child especially when our minds and thoughts are fragmented. klmno is making a similar point - think. Plan. Consider all possibilities, especially the worst. Then put in place as much as you can, prepare yourself as best you can, because sure as eggs, this won't go smoothly. Things are not adding up from some perspectives. If it turns out she does have a good exit plan, then fine. But why is she waiting? What is the delay? Why has she not already moved out? What is the obstacle for her? Then the flip side - what if she is not ready, or her place is not ready, by the deadline? What will you do then? What can you do then? I am concerned that you may have already painted yourself into a corner - "follow the rules or leave." It's too open-ended. How will you successfully make her leave? If you had, say, a shelter already lined up for her, that would be a valid alternative. What if she goes to the police and says, "My mother is refusing to let me stay, even though I am under age."? You said you checked with the police that what you are doing is OK. Have you got their response in writing? Is there any way that you can CYA if whoever said that what you're doing is okay, chooses to deny it afterwards? It's the planning ahead that is so vital, but also so tiring. When a difficult kid has you on the ropes, you're rolling with the punches, you're reacting only. It's difficult to be proactive when things are tough. Personally, I hadn't considered the option that she wasn't telling you where she was staying because she doesn't yet know herself. So even there, I would have failed in the fully proactive mode. That's why all the heads on this site are better than just one. Do let us know how this pans out. If she feels you have second-guessed her, feel free to snigger behind your inscrutable Mom mask. Marg [/QUOTE]
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